open + overflow post

[shipping]

OPEN POST

AZIRAPHALE

BUCK

ERIK

HUA CHENG

STEVE

WANGJI

Comments

[pursuitofcappiness]

No, it's alright. Like you said, just rumors. No one's come after me telling me I'm a homewrecker yet, and that's good enough for me.

You don't think all this is a little invasive?

[ He uses J to search up the controversy. ]

Well on the bright side, most of the discussion right now seems to be over whether or not I'm going to come out of the closet anytime soon, and not accusing you of infidelity.

I'm sorry, the amount of publicity must be hard on you two.

[ironism]

No, the break-up was hard. This? It's expected. Before I was with Pepper, there'd be a new or nasty rumor about me every week. It's par for the course now that I'm single the damn mill's started churning again. But it's fine. For the most part, i just ignore it.

I'm actually a little more concerned about how you're feeling? I should've brought it up sooner. I was just hoping it would've died down by now and we wouldn't need to ever have this conversation.

[pursuitofcappiness]

People care more because we're both so high-profile.

[ And probably because Steve hasn't been seen out on a date in a long time since he keeps refusing to be set up by Natasha, people are starting to wonder if maybe he's not just being picky. Which, again, he finds totally invasive. But they are big celebrities in what is apparently a slow news cycle. ]

Once either of us starts seeing someone new, maybe they'll finally catch on. Or just think we broke up or something. I keep leaving coffee grinds in the sink, you kept flirting openly. Pretty easy story to sell.

[ironism]

You think that's where I'm going to be drawing the line with you? Coffee grounds in the disposal?

[pursuitofcappiness]

You don't have to give a reason, it's not even a real breakup.

Is Pepper okay?

[ironism]

What do you think? She's finally free of me and all of my baggage which is probably a huge relief.

After we broke off, she flew off for a two-week yoga retreat in Thailand. First vacation in years since she became CEO. Now she's back and she seems more than fine. And I'm happy for her. We're not not talking.

[pursuitofcappiness]

That's good.

[ He doesn't necessarily think Tony's first comment is all that healthy, but it's only been a month and the media circus that apparently Steve hasn't been privy to is not helping things. ]

What are you flying out to DC for? Think maybe you should take a little vacation, too? I've never seen you take one.

[ironism]

( 'that's good' somehow feels like a punch to the gut. not that he's not already assuming that everyone pepper knows is probably thinking the same damn thing -- that she's better off. but can he blame them? hell, even he thinks so. )

You're right. I've never. And if I ever take one, Rogers, it wouldn't be to DC. I've got a meeting with Ross. Guy's been bugging me on the daily for weeks now.

[pursuitofcappiness]

Well, I don't know what he wants but he can't need more than a couple hours of your time. The museums in DC are nice. Lots of great restaurants. And don't you have a private jet?

Look, I'm not saying what worked for Pepper's gonna work for you, but if you think it might, I think you should try it.

[ironism]

He wants to talk about where Bruce is. I kind of lied and told him he's been at the Compound this entire while. And then Rhodey accidentally let it out that he's been MIA for months now. There was a miscommunication between us. I fucked up. Again. I was distracted. ( god, is he gonna get yelled at by cap the next time he sees him? ) Anyways, it's not a big deal. Ross just wants to scream expletives, puff his chest out, and I figure I'll let him air his grievances out. Maybe I'll text you if I get bored enough. Not that I'm saying I only text you when I'm bored out of my mind.

( is he ignoring cap's whole suggestion for him to take some time off? yes. because he literally can't. work and keeping himself busy is the only thing that keeps him from falling apart 99.9% of the time. )

[pursuitofcappiness]

Sounds like he could just call and do that over the video function, or does he not have access to a Starkphone?

What I want to know is why he wants to know where he is, anyway. Don't think Dr. Banner's taking Ross's calls.

You sure you don't want me to handle this one? Tijuana's calling. Or Monaco. Or. I don't know, Santorini.

[ironism]

The guy clearly wants to seem important if he wants a face-to-face meeting.

If you've got nothing better to do, Cap, why don't you meet me at the airport tomorrow and we can fly to DC together? Feel free to question him all you want. I'll be happy to take a step back for a change.

( again, he'll be ignoring that suggestion that he take time off. )

[pursuitofcappiness]

Fine. If you agree to enjoy the city a little bit when we're done, I'll come with you and explain to Ross about Banner.

Besides, I don't need you two getting into it, and you know I don't like the way he talks to us. Especially about Banner.

[ironism]

Hey, like I said, I'll be happy let you do all the talking. Just go easy on the guy. He's what, seventy? He looks old.

When you say, enjoy the city a little bit, are you coming up with an itinerary for us?

[pursuitofcappiness]

An itinerary for you. I don't want to fan any flames, and I think I'd do just that if we were seen out together on unofficial business.

Anyway, I'm packing a bag. And I'm not gonna give the guy a heart attack.

[ironism]

Then I don't need one. Also, trust you to give a shit what people think. I know. Language.

And you say that now. You've never had a one on one with him. But don't worry. I'll be there to toss in a funny remark every now and then and you can both glare at me instead. Happy to take the heat.

[pursuitofcappiness]

I just want this drama buried. I don't think it's good for any of us.

And I was actually thinking we should try to present a united front. Banner's our teammate, he doesn't answer to Ross. And I trust that you've been running scans and tracking gamma activity.

If you and Nat can't find him, I trust that. We've just gotta convince Ross. Together.

[ironism]

It's on the internet. It's never getting buried. Try looking up Tony Wild Parties/Tony Drunk. You'll find plenty of things from the 90s all the way to the early 2000s and people are still making memes about it. Welcome to the 21st century, sweetheart. It's impossible for anything to ever get buried.

No leads whatsoever on our jolly green pal. I'm not keeping information from you. Bright side, we know the guy can't have just keeled over, so he's alive. Hopefully sipping mai tais on some tropical beach somewhere.

Look, the last thing he said to me was that he needed a break from mopping up HYDRA. We've been at it nonstop. I know he'll be back. It's why I lied to Ross about his whereabouts in the first place.

And jeez, fine, Cap, we'll do it together. Little heads-up, Ross is probably gonna flip when he sees you. He doesn't like unannounced visitations from people. But personally, IDGAF.

[pursuitofcappiness]

IDGAF?

Fine, but I'm informing Pepper and sending her the schedule, and if she vetoes it, you're going sightseeing by yourself. And we're skipping the Smithsonian. I don't want to draw a crowd.

I believe you, but I think Ross is going to want a report with a lot of numbers and graphics on it.

[ And possibly a completely nonsequitur anecdotal story that barely relates, but is somehow supposed to convince the other person of the attempt to reach out towards one's humanity, or something. Definitely not Steve's style. ]

If it's Avengers business, Ross can expect me whether I'm invited or not. And if he starts talking about your company or personal matters instead, I'll show myself out.

[ironism]

I don't give a fuck.

[pursuitofcappiness]

Excuse me?

Did you mean to send me this? I know you're having a hard time right now, but I'm really just trying to understand.

[ironism]

IDGAF. You asked. I answered. My turn.

You packing swimwear in your bag? Speedos? Trunks? Roomy shorts? What's your go-to choice?

[pursuitofcappiness]

Oh.

[ Oops. ]

Are we going swimming? Sure. I'll pack trunks. Should I pack a suit? Are you going to want to go somewhere with a dress code for dinner?

[ironism]

I don't know. Do you wanna go somewhere fancy? Pretty sure a) I remember saying I didn't want to do vacation time/sightseeing and b) I thought you were in charge of the Pepper-approved schedule.

But yes to both the trunks and the suit.

[pursuitofcappiness]

Well, you still get a say in what you want to do.

[ No that's too much, Tony's gonna cancel all the relaxing parts. ]

Up to a point. So if you want to hang around the hotel and swim, that's fine by me. And if you'd rather go to a michelin-star restaurant than whatever reservation I'm about to make instead, that's all right too.

How do you feel about paddle boats by the monument? There's room for two.