open + overflow post

[shipping]

OPEN POST

AZIRAPHALE

BUCK

ERIK

HUA CHENG

STEVE

WANGJI

Comments

[ironism]

Hey, like I said, I'll be happy let you do all the talking. Just go easy on the guy. He's what, seventy? He looks old.

When you say, enjoy the city a little bit, are you coming up with an itinerary for us?

[pursuitofcappiness]

An itinerary for you. I don't want to fan any flames, and I think I'd do just that if we were seen out together on unofficial business.

Anyway, I'm packing a bag. And I'm not gonna give the guy a heart attack.

[ironism]

Then I don't need one. Also, trust you to give a shit what people think. I know. Language.

And you say that now. You've never had a one on one with him. But don't worry. I'll be there to toss in a funny remark every now and then and you can both glare at me instead. Happy to take the heat.

[pursuitofcappiness]

I just want this drama buried. I don't think it's good for any of us.

And I was actually thinking we should try to present a united front. Banner's our teammate, he doesn't answer to Ross. And I trust that you've been running scans and tracking gamma activity.

If you and Nat can't find him, I trust that. We've just gotta convince Ross. Together.

[ironism]

It's on the internet. It's never getting buried. Try looking up Tony Wild Parties/Tony Drunk. You'll find plenty of things from the 90s all the way to the early 2000s and people are still making memes about it. Welcome to the 21st century, sweetheart. It's impossible for anything to ever get buried.

No leads whatsoever on our jolly green pal. I'm not keeping information from you. Bright side, we know the guy can't have just keeled over, so he's alive. Hopefully sipping mai tais on some tropical beach somewhere.

Look, the last thing he said to me was that he needed a break from mopping up HYDRA. We've been at it nonstop. I know he'll be back. It's why I lied to Ross about his whereabouts in the first place.

And jeez, fine, Cap, we'll do it together. Little heads-up, Ross is probably gonna flip when he sees you. He doesn't like unannounced visitations from people. But personally, IDGAF.

[pursuitofcappiness]

IDGAF?

Fine, but I'm informing Pepper and sending her the schedule, and if she vetoes it, you're going sightseeing by yourself. And we're skipping the Smithsonian. I don't want to draw a crowd.

I believe you, but I think Ross is going to want a report with a lot of numbers and graphics on it.

[ And possibly a completely nonsequitur anecdotal story that barely relates, but is somehow supposed to convince the other person of the attempt to reach out towards one's humanity, or something. Definitely not Steve's style. ]

If it's Avengers business, Ross can expect me whether I'm invited or not. And if he starts talking about your company or personal matters instead, I'll show myself out.

[ironism]

I don't give a fuck.

[pursuitofcappiness]

Excuse me?

Did you mean to send me this? I know you're having a hard time right now, but I'm really just trying to understand.

[ironism]

IDGAF. You asked. I answered. My turn.

You packing swimwear in your bag? Speedos? Trunks? Roomy shorts? What's your go-to choice?

[pursuitofcappiness]

Oh.

[ Oops. ]

Are we going swimming? Sure. I'll pack trunks. Should I pack a suit? Are you going to want to go somewhere with a dress code for dinner?

[ironism]

I don't know. Do you wanna go somewhere fancy? Pretty sure a) I remember saying I didn't want to do vacation time/sightseeing and b) I thought you were in charge of the Pepper-approved schedule.

But yes to both the trunks and the suit.

[pursuitofcappiness]

Well, you still get a say in what you want to do.

[ No that's too much, Tony's gonna cancel all the relaxing parts. ]

Up to a point. So if you want to hang around the hotel and swim, that's fine by me. And if you'd rather go to a michelin-star restaurant than whatever reservation I'm about to make instead, that's all right too.

How do you feel about paddle boats by the monument? There's room for two.

[ironism]

A paddle boat for two? Weren't you concerned about fanning the flames of our fake romance just a minute ago? And is there a reason why we're limiting ourselves to DC when I've got the jet?

[pursuitofcappiness]

It's not like it's shaped like a swan.

But sure, we don't have to stay in DC. Where do you want to go? So I know what to pack.

[ And also so he can call ahead to request airspace clearances and the like. ]

[ironism]

Zurich. Switzerland. I gotta collect a thing for my lab. We can have some fondue while we're there. I guess you can check out the sights. That'll count as a mini vacation from work, right?

bruh i actually googled all these

[pursuitofcappiness]

Sure. The old town's nice, it's by a lake. By the time we get out of Ross's meeting, the zoo might be closed, but depending on your lab thing we might still be able to check out the Kunsthaus, and then get fondue after. It's only a seven minute walk to the raclette factory, which is right by the water.

If you'd rather go to the botanical garden, there's a Fribourg fondue parlor a 9-minute walk away. But I don't think we'll have time to go to both the museum and the garden.

dis is y ur hawt ♫

[ironism]

We'll just play it by ear. But hey, serious talk, if you ever decide to lay down your shield and quit the Avengers gig, I'll have Pepper hire you into our travel management department. You'd be perfect for it.

singlehandedly keeping mims career alive

[pursuitofcappiness]

Think I'll pass, but thanks.

Guess I'll see you at the jet tomorrow morning, unless you're coming back here tonight.

[ironism]

If we're going to DC together, I might as well head back to the Compound for the night. I hear Clint's planning a barbecue. Is that still on?

[pursuitofcappiness]

Just texted him and he says yes. I'm also checking the fridge now, you mind picking some stuff up on your way back? I can do it too, just let me know.

[ironism]

You realize I haven't been to the grocery store like... ever? I guess you wouldn't know that. But text me the list. I'll get Happy on it. He's bored to death waiting on me anyways.

[pursuitofcappiness]

Never in your life?

Okay, never mind. I'll make a trip.

But you can send Happy to pick up napkins if he's bored. And drinks. Unless you're taking care of that. Does Happy stock your bars, too?

[ironism]

No idea who stocks anything around anywhere. That's not my area of expertise. I got a lot on my plate if you hadn't realized. But I'm happy to fund any expenses. That includes your trip to DC, tonight's barbecue, and basically everyone's entire livelihood. Getting napkins though? You've got me flummoxed. Aren't those always just available anywhere? Sort of like the air we breathe? No?

[pursuitofcappiness]

Tony, no. Only in your world. Here's a list for Happy:

[ Attachment ]

I'll see you later tonight. Are you going to pay attention to your meeting or are you going to start sending me me-mes?

[ironism]

What the hell are me-mes? Are you thinking I don't pay attention to you while you're going on and on and on during team meetings? Is that it?