open + overflow post

[shipping]

OPEN POST

AZIRAPHALE

BUCK

ERIK

HUA CHENG

STEVE

WANGJI

Comments

[ironism]

Oh, you better do something, Cap. I've been plenty nice. I think I'm deserving of something extra naughty.

Uh... Considering Rhodey's getting dragged here through a fake kidnapping thingy, I'm guessing it'll be a majorly big surprise. You wanna come round asap before he punches me in the face when he realizes what's happened?

[pursuitofcappiness]

Sure, I'll protect you from Rhodey. But maybe if you don't kidnap him, you won't get punched. Just a thought.

And you haven't been good at all. But what's gotten into you tonight? You're really enjoying trying to make passes at me. It's not really shocking anymore, if that's what you were going for.

[ironism]

Maybe if he'd stop saying no to me organizing a party in his honor, we wouldn't be in this situation. See? Not everything is my fault.

Ia it shocking for me to tell you what I want? I didn't think so. I mean, I did totally not go to church with you when you invited me to go with you that time, and then I slept with a bunch of people that wasn't you, and I've been giving you mixed signals all month long, or longer...

But I am trying to make it up to you. Because, you know, I do like you.

[pursuitofcappiness]

Hold on, what? I mean yeah, I didn't exactly think you liked me for all the reasons you just listed. Especially the sleeping with other people part, which I'm not judging you for by the way, but I am just confused.

And why are you telling me this all on text? If this is a joke at my expense, Tony, it's not a very funny one.

[ironism]

Look, what does it matter if it's a text? Does it still even count as texting if I'm using voice-to-text? The thing is, I'm apologizing for being an ass. I don't want you to think I don't care about you and your extra blond hair. Because I do. Sometimes it scares me how much I do care. And that kinda sucks.

Here's the thing. I'm just not ready to be in another relationship after Pepper pretty much dumped my ass. But I don't want you to think I don't value what we have and all the times we've spent together. And now I sound like a cheap goddamn Hallmark card. Jesus. What I'm saying is that I like you. But I also don't want to screw it up. So, here we are. It's complicated. I know.

[pursuitofcappiness]

Oh.

Well, I appreciate you telling me that all, directly, even if I'd rather we had talked about this in person. And I really like spending time with you, too. I think we've really grown a lot from how we used to be.

But I guess I just can't offer you what you're looking for right now. And maybe, when you're ready, we can revisit this conversation. I don't want you to think it's off the table, but I think it's off the table for the moment.

We can still be friends, right? 'Cause I don't wanna mess up what we've currently got, either.

[ironism]

Okay. Yeah. We're friends. Always. Sure. I mean, I'm still gonna tease you, flirt with you, and do all that fun stuff we do on the weekends at the market with your needles and your yarn. We just won't sleep with each other because you deserve better, for sure, and I have too much respect for you, and right now, I can't be trusted not to put my dick elsewhere, and you're too damn good for me. What can I say? I'm a mess. I really wish I wasn't.

But thanks for putting up with me.

[pursuitofcappiness]

That's not it at all, Tony. We just want different things. You don't want to be tied down, and I can't stand the thought of doing all that other stuff with you and not building a future together.

I'm not too good for you, so just stop that. We wouldn't be friends if I didn't want to be friends with you, Tony, if I didn't get anything out of it. I don't just tolerate you or 'put up with' you, I like you.

[ironism]

Wow. You like me and you'd want to build a future together, and you don't even know if the sex will be great. That just makes me feel like a bigger ass because I haven't thought that far ahead past me just wanting to see you naked.

DO you really think we'd have a shot at being a thing? You don't think we'll just fight a whole lot? Like how we sometimes do while we're out on the field? Where you tell me I'm taking too much of a risk and then I tell you that you're not taking enough of a risk and we glare at each other a whole lot?

[pursuitofcappiness]

Maybe we will and maybe we won't. Maybe you'll move too fast for me, or I'll annoy you too much. I don't think these are things we can predict until we try it out. You don't usually pilot a new suit without taking it for a test fly, right?

Never mind, don't answer that.

But what I'm saying is that I think we'd have a chance, but also we'd probably wanna give this the best shot we could, so, I don't want to do anything before either of us are ready, and fully on-board.

But us talking it out like this, that's a good sign. Definitely way better than where we were before.

And - you don't have to keep coming to the craft fairs. I know you don't like them.

[ironism]

Nuh-uh-uh. Who says I don't like them? I've been looking forward to it. That lady, Irene, made me a yarn bracelet that she says would keep me safe? I wore it last week during that cleanup at the HYDRA base where that bomb exploded after I exited out of my suit and it tossed me across the room and you all thought I was dead, but I was completely unscathed?

What do you think? She's some kind of a witch? I'm gonna ask her for another bracelet that'll keep my hair looking good for the rest of my life.

[pursuitofcappiness]

I don't know, I can ask her though. Maybe we could invite her out for drinks. I like the idea of you two being friends.

Then you can ask if she can make you a hair bracelet. Though I like the grays coming in.

[ironism]

Okie dokie to the grays. Just no balding issues then.

And sure, we can all go out for drinks sometime. I'll be sure to have Happy pencil that in for next year maybe? I'm kidding. How about next weekend? You, me and Irene? I love threesomes.

[pursuitofcappiness]

If that's what you're inviting us over for, I'm leaving the room and then it'll just be you and Irene.

But if all you want is drinks, next weekend's fine. I'll ask Irene if she's free.

[ironism]

So you do know what a threesome is. And here I thought you were Captain Innocent. Drinks and food then. I know a place. I'll have Happy make a reservation for us.

[pursuitofcappiness]

People did have sex in the forties.

Anyone else coming, or just us three? I could invite Harold, he was the one with the ceramic cups.

[ironism]

Hold on. When you say, people, do you mean people in general? Or did you have yourself a playful threesome in the forties? Was it with the pretty gals you were on tour with? Come on. Talk to me about it. You're allowed to spill the deets since it basically happened a gajillion days ago.

[pursuitofcappiness]

No, nothing like that.

And even if I did, I wouldn't give you salacious details because I know you'd just want more.

Why, do you go around telling everyone about your threesomes?

[ironism]

Why? That's like talking about laundry day. It happens too often. Your sex life on the other hand, or lack thereof, is fascinating.

Hey. Do you think I'm annoying? I think I can be. Probably. Pepper says I am. But I don't trust her opinion. She's been asking me to shut down my lab and my suits before I end up killing myself and I've been telling her no. Because come on. If she wasn't able to make me do something while we were together, what are the chances of her trying to control me now? Right? I mean. Pfft.

[pursuitofcappiness]

Yes, you are.

Are you asking for relationship advice? From me?

Are you trying to make things up with Pepper? 'Cause I'm thinking you might wanna start by not telling her that.

[ironism]

No. But let's get back to you thinking that I'm annoying. Why? List down the reasons. All of it. I'm here all day.

[pursuitofcappiness]

Are you serious?

Well, first off, you keep saying things to make me uncomfortable.

[ironism]

Yeah, that's the whole point of it. What can I say? It's fun.

[pursuitofcappiness]

You also have a bad habit of going off on tangents. And you talk to yourself sometimes.

[ironism]

Are you sure you're not mistaking the word annoying for something else? Like, adorable? And what do you mean I talk to myself? I'm never by myself. There's... JARVIS.