You know, it's hard to argue with Steve when he goes on like that so instead he just nods. Because Steve wants it to be his turn and it's only for a while that they need to do this whole fake dating anyways. Long enough to let the media up off Steve's back and then he can try to set him up with a nice girl who can actually give him what he needs in all this.
"Well fine, but then we're going to the lions first because I like cats. All cats, I once suggested to Ayo that a lion would be a cool pet and she was not amused.." he says as he starts to lead Steve in the direction of the big cat enclosure.
"You know, I don't think I know your favorite animal either, so I guess if this is yours then this is not me letting you spoil him at all is it?"
"Lions would make good pets," he answers. "But they kinda come in a pride. So maybe Ayo doesn't want you to have a whole lot of them hanging around. Lots of hunting, too much to clean up after."
And so much meat to feed if they're not free hunters.
"Honestly, I would've thought your favorite was wolves." He doesn't know why. Buck just gives off wolf energy.
In any case, Steve grabs a map and gently elbows Bucky in the side. "Where to first? Beeline for the lions?"
"Yeah, to the lions," He says and checks out the map before he's tugging Steve along a little bit with his hands. "I'm not really a dog guy? And wolves are kinda like dogs, I mean they're nice and all," he says because what sort of psychopath would actually hate dogs. Not Bucky, he just was more of a cat guy.
"You didn't answer my question though, what's your favorite?" He asks again, determined to get an answer out of Steve on this one.
"I guess I don't know," he answers, lamely. "I'm kinda fond of foxes? But birds are really cool." He looks sheepish as he can't even come up with an answer to what his favorite animal is.
"Oh. Uh. Pandas?" Nope. That doesn't sound right either. "I'll get back to you. Maybe I'll figure it out by the time we get to the lions."
A pause. "Capybaras? They've even got 'cap' in them." Yeah, not a great reason.
"I'm going to tell Sam and Clint your favorite things are birds," he teases fondly giving his hand a squeeze as they head towards the lions thinking about that.
"You know, that's my ask for the day. If you wanna spoil me you can figure out what your favorite animal is Mr. Cap of Capybaras," he jokes as they walk by some antelope.
He wants Steve to have a little bit of time to focus on himself in all this, besides, what kind of person doesn't know what their favorite animal is. He's gonna figure it out and never let him live it down, do things like get Steve weird figurines of them as gifts and such.
Very funny. But he'll think about it. "I think Clint and Sam already know they're my favorites." Which is a lie, but all of Steve's teammates are his favorites.
He links his hand in Bucky's as they make their way to the lions, but on the way, a loose peacock flutters by and crosses their path.
"Is that a good omen or a bad one?" he asks. Not that Bucky knows the answer. He just thinks this will be a nice memory to file away for their time at the zoo.
"Wait, Clint and Sam are your favorites? Shit, and here I thought I was your favorite," he teases squeezing Steve's hand affectionately.
"Peacocks are pretty, seems fine by me? What about them, are they too outlandish for your style, old man?" He asks curiously before veering slightly off course distracted by the gorillas.
"Man look at these things, they're massive. Do you think you could fight one?"
"You don't count, Buck, you've got a hundred years on them of being my friend. Of course you're the favorite, everyone else is vying for second place."
And then, quickly: "Don't tell them that. Even if they already know." No one thinks they're first in Steve's heart, they know that spot's taken.
"I don't know, I just thought maybe it was an omen of some sort," he answers about the peacock thing, but then he raises a brow. "I don't know. And I'm hoping not to find out." If anyone did escape their enclosures, he would, but he's hoping for a normal day at the zoo. Sorry Buck.
"I mean, I'm not saying we should fight them, I just kinda wonder you know, who would win in a fight. I'm sure together we could take one no problem but I'm not too sure of you on your own, you're lookin' kind of skinny recently," he teases.
"Maybe we'll have to get burgers with those milkshakes, you know, to fix that," he adds while he tugs Steve over to the gorilla enclosure clearly interested in watching it for a bit.
"How many of them do you think it would take to bring down Bruce?" Bucky maybe is a little too interested in the dynamics of fighting a gorilla but he sounds very excited while talking about it too.
"I could definitely fight a gorilla," he counters, and then looks down anyway because he hadn't thought he'd gotten skinnier. "Come on, I could still kick your ass." That may or may not be an exaggeration.
But.
He's not gonna let Buck just tease him. "I think it'd probably take like all the gorillas that exist to take down Banner. Neither you or I want to face him. I think he takes Thor in a fight."
And they are definitely no match for Thor. "But he wouldn't fight the gorillas."
"Thor seems like he might be down to fighting gorillas for fun, if they could like talk," he says under careful consideration, "You know, he does hang out with all those space guys like the raccoon and the tree."
He laughs thinking back on just how weird that interaction was right before he got blipped. Then everything was so heavy and so hard for everyone, but especially Steve after losing Tony.
"Did I ever tell you that Raccoon tried to buy my arm?" he says with this big shit eating grin like he might totally be bullshitting him. He's not for once, but he really wonders if Steve will believe him on that one.
"Yeah, Rocket's like that. And the tree's name is Groot. At least, I think so. I haven't figured out how to understand Groot yet."
Things had been rough after the blip, for sure, and though everyone's back, Steve's somewhat retired because he definitely feels at least a little bit responsible for Tony's death. Nat had volunteered willingly, would've done it even if Steve had said no, and he misses her just as terribly, but there's not as much guilt involved. Tony - he'd roped Tony back into this.
And that'd hit him hard, but he had talked to Pepper, he sees Morgan every now and then, and Buck, well. Buck helps out a lot, grounds him into this reality where Nat had been by his side for about five years running. Sometimes he feels like the two of them still don't belong in this century, but at least they can be outcast together.
"But be careful, he might come back to steal it." He's not even joking.
Bucky drops Steve's hand to wrap an arm around his shoulder and pull him in for a side hug. He gives his arm a squeeze as he does it and smiles at him. "Isn't that your job as my boyfriend? To protect my arm from being stolen by space pirates?"
He's teasing him, he's pretty sure that he can handle that bit himself, maybe. He hadn't actually had to worry about it though until Steve said it in this completely non-joking manner that made him a little concerned about it. The new arm was nice, and there was no way he'd be getting another one out of Wakanda after the mess with Zemo.
Of course Bucky misses Nat too. Or the person he knew as Nat years before, that he never had memories of until after the blip and she was gone. He never mentions it to Steve because it doesn't matter, and he still had no idea of she'd even remembered herself.
So he just tries to support Steve the best he can, because that's what friends are there for. So his two goals for the day were to make Steve laugh and figure out his favorite animal, and that's what they're going to do.
"They're not--" he starts, but then he thinks and decides that yeah, okay, space pirates is actually kind of an apt term for the guardians. But they're nice space pirates. They're on their side.
"Okay, I'll protect your arm from the space pirates. Mostly just the raccoon, the other ones I think you're probably safe with, despite their reputation." Well, he's not too sure, but he also hasn't spent a lot of time with Peter or Drax.
"Coming right up," he adds, about the lions thing, as they turn into the big cat area. "Look, there's even tunnels above us." They're like enclosed bridges, like very large hamster enclosures, for the big cats to go into, and sit around in. It's nice to know big cats and little cats are sometimes exactly the same.
"You're the best babe" he says teasingly and gives his hand a squeeze as they wander over to the big cats.
Bucky looks up at the tunnels and man, they are cool. Like really cool as he watches that cats roam a little bit although most of them are just laying in the sun, just like Alpine likes to do, he thinks.
"Remind me why you won't let me a live a lion again? We could totally have a lion, we're strong enough to handle one," he insists, but he's absolutely joking and has no interest in keeping a non-domesticated animal as a pet, he just thinks it's a funny conversation.
"We can't have a lion because we live in New York. And we can't move to Wakanda, and even if we could, Okoye wouldn't let you keep a lion. They're free animals."
He watches as one of the lionesses climbs overhead, as if hearing them, and wanting to lie above Bucky's head. "They are cute, though." He smiles and then reaches for Bucky's hand, to take in his, to squeeze.
"But if you're really good, maybe we can get a serval." Those are domesticated, but close to wild cats. Maybe he'll settle for one of those.
"Oh yeah not the we live in New York bit.." he teases fondly, he knows they can't have a lion but it's fun anyways as he looks up watching what Steve is watching as well. "They are very cute."
"It's okay, I don't really want a cat that could eat Alpine, it'd actually make me worried about her all the time. But we could maybe get another domestic cat, you know, if we find another one in a dumpster sometime," that's how he'd found Alpine anyways.
He's still looking up at the cat for a moment before glancing back down at Steve. "Okay, hypothetically speaking, if you could have one wild animal be instantly domesticated for a pet, what would you want to have live with you?"
"This is just you asking what my favorite animal is, but in other words," he accuses, but he smiles and goes along with it anyway. "I think I'd like a crocodile. Can you imagine? Me and a crocodile. I'd walk it around Prospect Park. Name it John or something."
Then he says: "if you want another cat, we could get one. There's no shortage of strays in New York." It's true. He sometimes leaves tuna out to feed the strays and ends up with a lot of friendlies. He only stops doing it when the landlord comes around to tell him off.
Honestly of all the things to tell off your tenants for, telling off Captain America for feeding the animals is kind of one that makes you seem like a jerk, no? Anyway, Steve checks and sees that the lion is taking a nap in the shade. He elbows Bucky to come take a look over the enclosure.
"It's not the same, because even though Lions are my favorite it wouldn't be what I picked to live with me. Think about how cool it would be to have a pet penguin, they'd just waddle around and you could take them swimming."
He follows Steve over to the enclosure but is distracted thinking about Steve with a crocodile. Steve is absolutely messing with him about that, right? That must be a thing.
"If you had a crocodile I would think that would be the start of your villain arc. Like I would have to worry about calling you something new other then Steve or Cap and wonder which of your enemies you are feeding to it," he says like he's put way too much thought into the idea of Steve and John the crocodile.
He glances up at the enclosure where the rest of the lions are including the male with the big mane. "Man, the boy lions sure have it easy don't they?"
"You couldn't, because the closest pool to us is only open in the summer. Your penguin would suffer heatstroke. You'd have to move to somewhere cold. Like Antarctica. Or Svalbard. And I think they've got a lot of biological regulations on both to not upset the ecosystem."
Why does Steve know all this? Maybe he was looking to retire to Svalbard. It seems nice up there.
"Hold on, John would come with me to fight villains," he counters, as he steps up to the enclosure.
Lions sure do have it easy in captivity, but he also assumes that they are bored out of their minds. They have to have a human to stimulate them, give them puzzles, feed them, clean up their poop. Yeah, Steve couldn't live like that.
"Antarctica would already have penguins," he protests and leans into him a little bit. "And why are you and John okay but me and my penguin Morris not good. I suspect this is some bias Rogers..."
He nudges him with his elbow to reassure Steve he's just teasing him. The idea of just being able to turn off his brain and lounge honestly sounds amazing most days, he's gotten pretty good at quieting the ghosts, the memories and the nightmares but they still pop up fairly often, hence the daily meditation he'd been doing.
"I'll humor you though, what kind of villains would John help you fight, and what would his superhero name be?"
"Crocodiles live up here," he says. "Or at least, close. I'd find John an enclosure." And also he could just put him in a lake. A private lake. He'd have to buy a private lake, but it's more likely than Buck buying a private glacier.
"He'd be... Captain Crocodile. Obviously. Does he even need a name? I feel like most people would know he's mine. No secret identity." Not that Steve had one. Or Bucky.
"We'd fight all the villains. HYDRA, AIM. Loki. What about your penguin?"
"They absolutely do not, so unless you're ready to move to Florida, and I refuse to move to Florida, we're going to have to settle on a different pet," he laughs tugging on Steve's hand a little bit as he indicates he's ready to move on to the next exhibit where he see's some giraffes.
"Maybe a dog. You seem like a dog guy," he adds. He's not really sure why Steve seems like a dog guy, but like a yellow lab, that sounds about right. "Maybe we can give the dog a secret identity, just because it would be fun. Oh and a mask, or a little winged head cowl."
"He'd probably be much less traumatized then a giant lizard or a penguin would be anyways. And would go on those morning runs with you, because lord knows I am going to sleep in."
Well, that's a shame. No alligator for Steve. But that's all right, because he doesn't want to have to get a pond. He can barely afford rent. "Now you're just making the dog into Captain America. But I think people would know the identity. It's not like mine's a secret."
Or Bucky's, anymore.
"And what's wrong with Florida?" Steve asks, innocently, having not watched the news about Florida since 1945 when it was barely a consideration at all.
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"Well fine, but then we're going to the lions first because I like cats. All cats, I once suggested to Ayo that a lion would be a cool pet and she was not amused.." he says as he starts to lead Steve in the direction of the big cat enclosure.
"You know, I don't think I know your favorite animal either, so I guess if this is yours then this is not me letting you spoil him at all is it?"
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And so much meat to feed if they're not free hunters.
"Honestly, I would've thought your favorite was wolves." He doesn't know why. Buck just gives off wolf energy.
In any case, Steve grabs a map and gently elbows Bucky in the side. "Where to first? Beeline for the lions?"
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"You didn't answer my question though, what's your favorite?" He asks again, determined to get an answer out of Steve on this one.
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"Oh. Uh. Pandas?" Nope. That doesn't sound right either. "I'll get back to you. Maybe I'll figure it out by the time we get to the lions."
A pause. "Capybaras? They've even got 'cap' in them." Yeah, not a great reason.
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"You know, that's my ask for the day. If you wanna spoil me you can figure out what your favorite animal is Mr. Cap of Capybaras," he jokes as they walk by some antelope.
He wants Steve to have a little bit of time to focus on himself in all this, besides, what kind of person doesn't know what their favorite animal is. He's gonna figure it out and never let him live it down, do things like get Steve weird figurines of them as gifts and such.
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He links his hand in Bucky's as they make their way to the lions, but on the way, a loose peacock flutters by and crosses their path.
"Is that a good omen or a bad one?" he asks. Not that Bucky knows the answer. He just thinks this will be a nice memory to file away for their time at the zoo.
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"Peacocks are pretty, seems fine by me? What about them, are they too outlandish for your style, old man?" He asks curiously before veering slightly off course distracted by the gorillas.
"Man look at these things, they're massive. Do you think you could fight one?"
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And then, quickly: "Don't tell them that. Even if they already know." No one thinks they're first in Steve's heart, they know that spot's taken.
"I don't know, I just thought maybe it was an omen of some sort," he answers about the peacock thing, but then he raises a brow. "I don't know. And I'm hoping not to find out." If anyone did escape their enclosures, he would, but he's hoping for a normal day at the zoo. Sorry Buck.
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"Maybe we'll have to get burgers with those milkshakes, you know, to fix that," he adds while he tugs Steve over to the gorilla enclosure clearly interested in watching it for a bit.
"How many of them do you think it would take to bring down Bruce?" Bucky maybe is a little too interested in the dynamics of fighting a gorilla but he sounds very excited while talking about it too.
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But.
He's not gonna let Buck just tease him. "I think it'd probably take like all the gorillas that exist to take down Banner. Neither you or I want to face him. I think he takes Thor in a fight."
And they are definitely no match for Thor. "But he wouldn't fight the gorillas."
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He laughs thinking back on just how weird that interaction was right before he got blipped. Then everything was so heavy and so hard for everyone, but especially Steve after losing Tony.
"Did I ever tell you that Raccoon tried to buy my arm?" he says with this big shit eating grin like he might totally be bullshitting him. He's not for once, but he really wonders if Steve will believe him on that one.
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Things had been rough after the blip, for sure, and though everyone's back, Steve's somewhat retired because he definitely feels at least a little bit responsible for Tony's death. Nat had volunteered willingly, would've done it even if Steve had said no, and he misses her just as terribly, but there's not as much guilt involved. Tony - he'd roped Tony back into this.
And that'd hit him hard, but he had talked to Pepper, he sees Morgan every now and then, and Buck, well. Buck helps out a lot, grounds him into this reality where Nat had been by his side for about five years running. Sometimes he feels like the two of them still don't belong in this century, but at least they can be outcast together.
"But be careful, he might come back to steal it." He's not even joking.
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He's teasing him, he's pretty sure that he can handle that bit himself, maybe. He hadn't actually had to worry about it though until Steve said it in this completely non-joking manner that made him a little concerned about it. The new arm was nice, and there was no way he'd be getting another one out of Wakanda after the mess with Zemo.
Of course Bucky misses Nat too. Or the person he knew as Nat years before, that he never had memories of until after the blip and she was gone. He never mentions it to Steve because it doesn't matter, and he still had no idea of she'd even remembered herself.
So he just tries to support Steve the best he can, because that's what friends are there for. So his two goals for the day were to make Steve laugh and figure out his favorite animal, and that's what they're going to do.
"Alright, you owe me some lions."
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"Okay, I'll protect your arm from the space pirates. Mostly just the raccoon, the other ones I think you're probably safe with, despite their reputation." Well, he's not too sure, but he also hasn't spent a lot of time with Peter or Drax.
"Coming right up," he adds, about the lions thing, as they turn into the big cat area. "Look, there's even tunnels above us." They're like enclosed bridges, like very large hamster enclosures, for the big cats to go into, and sit around in. It's nice to know big cats and little cats are sometimes exactly the same.
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Bucky looks up at the tunnels and man, they are cool. Like really cool as he watches that cats roam a little bit although most of them are just laying in the sun, just like Alpine likes to do, he thinks.
"Remind me why you won't let me a live a lion again? We could totally have a lion, we're strong enough to handle one," he insists, but he's absolutely joking and has no interest in keeping a non-domesticated animal as a pet, he just thinks it's a funny conversation.
"They're just like really big, adorable cats."
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He watches as one of the lionesses climbs overhead, as if hearing them, and wanting to lie above Bucky's head. "They are cute, though." He smiles and then reaches for Bucky's hand, to take in his, to squeeze.
"But if you're really good, maybe we can get a serval." Those are domesticated, but close to wild cats. Maybe he'll settle for one of those.
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"It's okay, I don't really want a cat that could eat Alpine, it'd actually make me worried about her all the time. But we could maybe get another domestic cat, you know, if we find another one in a dumpster sometime," that's how he'd found Alpine anyways.
He's still looking up at the cat for a moment before glancing back down at Steve. "Okay, hypothetically speaking, if you could have one wild animal be instantly domesticated for a pet, what would you want to have live with you?"
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Then he says: "if you want another cat, we could get one. There's no shortage of strays in New York." It's true. He sometimes leaves tuna out to feed the strays and ends up with a lot of friendlies. He only stops doing it when the landlord comes around to tell him off.
Honestly of all the things to tell off your tenants for, telling off Captain America for feeding the animals is kind of one that makes you seem like a jerk, no? Anyway, Steve checks and sees that the lion is taking a nap in the shade. He elbows Bucky to come take a look over the enclosure.
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He follows Steve over to the enclosure but is distracted thinking about Steve with a crocodile. Steve is absolutely messing with him about that, right? That must be a thing.
"If you had a crocodile I would think that would be the start of your villain arc. Like I would have to worry about calling you something new other then Steve or Cap and wonder which of your enemies you are feeding to it," he says like he's put way too much thought into the idea of Steve and John the crocodile.
He glances up at the enclosure where the rest of the lions are including the male with the big mane. "Man, the boy lions sure have it easy don't they?"
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Why does Steve know all this? Maybe he was looking to retire to Svalbard. It seems nice up there.
"Hold on, John would come with me to fight villains," he counters, as he steps up to the enclosure.
Lions sure do have it easy in captivity, but he also assumes that they are bored out of their minds. They have to have a human to stimulate them, give them puzzles, feed them, clean up their poop. Yeah, Steve couldn't live like that.
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He nudges him with his elbow to reassure Steve he's just teasing him. The idea of just being able to turn off his brain and lounge honestly sounds amazing most days, he's gotten pretty good at quieting the ghosts, the memories and the nightmares but they still pop up fairly often, hence the daily meditation he'd been doing.
"I'll humor you though, what kind of villains would John help you fight, and what would his superhero name be?"
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"He'd be... Captain Crocodile. Obviously. Does he even need a name? I feel like most people would know he's mine. No secret identity." Not that Steve had one. Or Bucky.
"We'd fight all the villains. HYDRA, AIM. Loki. What about your penguin?"
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"Maybe a dog. You seem like a dog guy," he adds. He's not really sure why Steve seems like a dog guy, but like a yellow lab, that sounds about right. "Maybe we can give the dog a secret identity, just because it would be fun. Oh and a mask, or a little winged head cowl."
"He'd probably be much less traumatized then a giant lizard or a penguin would be anyways. And would go on those morning runs with you, because lord knows I am going to sleep in."
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Or Bucky's, anymore.
"And what's wrong with Florida?" Steve asks, innocently, having not watched the news about Florida since 1945 when it was barely a consideration at all.