"You couldn't, because the closest pool to us is only open in the summer. Your penguin would suffer heatstroke. You'd have to move to somewhere cold. Like Antarctica. Or Svalbard. And I think they've got a lot of biological regulations on both to not upset the ecosystem."
Why does Steve know all this? Maybe he was looking to retire to Svalbard. It seems nice up there.
"Hold on, John would come with me to fight villains," he counters, as he steps up to the enclosure.
Lions sure do have it easy in captivity, but he also assumes that they are bored out of their minds. They have to have a human to stimulate them, give them puzzles, feed them, clean up their poop. Yeah, Steve couldn't live like that.
"Antarctica would already have penguins," he protests and leans into him a little bit. "And why are you and John okay but me and my penguin Morris not good. I suspect this is some bias Rogers..."
He nudges him with his elbow to reassure Steve he's just teasing him. The idea of just being able to turn off his brain and lounge honestly sounds amazing most days, he's gotten pretty good at quieting the ghosts, the memories and the nightmares but they still pop up fairly often, hence the daily meditation he'd been doing.
"I'll humor you though, what kind of villains would John help you fight, and what would his superhero name be?"
"Crocodiles live up here," he says. "Or at least, close. I'd find John an enclosure." And also he could just put him in a lake. A private lake. He'd have to buy a private lake, but it's more likely than Buck buying a private glacier.
"He'd be... Captain Crocodile. Obviously. Does he even need a name? I feel like most people would know he's mine. No secret identity." Not that Steve had one. Or Bucky.
"We'd fight all the villains. HYDRA, AIM. Loki. What about your penguin?"
"They absolutely do not, so unless you're ready to move to Florida, and I refuse to move to Florida, we're going to have to settle on a different pet," he laughs tugging on Steve's hand a little bit as he indicates he's ready to move on to the next exhibit where he see's some giraffes.
"Maybe a dog. You seem like a dog guy," he adds. He's not really sure why Steve seems like a dog guy, but like a yellow lab, that sounds about right. "Maybe we can give the dog a secret identity, just because it would be fun. Oh and a mask, or a little winged head cowl."
"He'd probably be much less traumatized then a giant lizard or a penguin would be anyways. And would go on those morning runs with you, because lord knows I am going to sleep in."
Well, that's a shame. No alligator for Steve. But that's all right, because he doesn't want to have to get a pond. He can barely afford rent. "Now you're just making the dog into Captain America. But I think people would know the identity. It's not like mine's a secret."
Or Bucky's, anymore.
"And what's wrong with Florida?" Steve asks, innocently, having not watched the news about Florida since 1945 when it was barely a consideration at all.
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Why does Steve know all this? Maybe he was looking to retire to Svalbard. It seems nice up there.
"Hold on, John would come with me to fight villains," he counters, as he steps up to the enclosure.
Lions sure do have it easy in captivity, but he also assumes that they are bored out of their minds. They have to have a human to stimulate them, give them puzzles, feed them, clean up their poop. Yeah, Steve couldn't live like that.
no subject
He nudges him with his elbow to reassure Steve he's just teasing him. The idea of just being able to turn off his brain and lounge honestly sounds amazing most days, he's gotten pretty good at quieting the ghosts, the memories and the nightmares but they still pop up fairly often, hence the daily meditation he'd been doing.
"I'll humor you though, what kind of villains would John help you fight, and what would his superhero name be?"
no subject
"He'd be... Captain Crocodile. Obviously. Does he even need a name? I feel like most people would know he's mine. No secret identity." Not that Steve had one. Or Bucky.
"We'd fight all the villains. HYDRA, AIM. Loki. What about your penguin?"
no subject
"Maybe a dog. You seem like a dog guy," he adds. He's not really sure why Steve seems like a dog guy, but like a yellow lab, that sounds about right. "Maybe we can give the dog a secret identity, just because it would be fun. Oh and a mask, or a little winged head cowl."
"He'd probably be much less traumatized then a giant lizard or a penguin would be anyways. And would go on those morning runs with you, because lord knows I am going to sleep in."
no subject
Or Bucky's, anymore.
"And what's wrong with Florida?" Steve asks, innocently, having not watched the news about Florida since 1945 when it was barely a consideration at all.