[TJ doesn't have anything specific in mind, either. He has the whole day open as he does most days; he's still very much trying to figure out what he wants to do and he hasn't gotten any closer to actually figuring it out. At this point he's starting to wonder if he actually will. He's thirty years old, and most people have figured all of that out by now.
As far as houses go, it probably is nicer than a lot of places in the city. His furniture is nice -- both visually appealing to him and comfortable -- but likely the most eye catching thing in the room is the baby grand piano in the corner, near the balcony.]
Uh, yeah. [He fishes around in a cabinet until he finds what he's looking for: a glass pitcher meant for tea or lemonade. He fills it with tepid water from the tap and carefully arranges the flowers in it.]
I...may have dismissed my security team.
[Which definitely hadn't made his mom very happy.]
[ Yeah, considering that Steve can barely afford a place in Brooklyn these days - fifth floor walk-up, barely a bedroom, room for a bed pushed up all the way to the wall and with a sloped ceiling that he has to put his feet by or he might bang his head on it and break the wall every morning?
Yeah.
This place is a lot nicer than most places he's seen and definitely the place he lives in. ]
Well, if it's any consolation, I think you're pretty secure with me.
[ They won't have anything to worry about. And neither will his mother. Unless-- ]
[He offers Steve a small smile at that. No doubt it's true even if he's not all that worried about his security. But he pauses at the question, a little thrown by it. But it takes him a minute to realize that Steve thinks the two are connected.]
Oh. Uh, no, I -- permanently dismissed them. [He shrugs a little, though, now considering something else that he probably should have thought about before.]
Unless - I mean. [He hesitates, not really loving the idea of being someone else's dirty little secret again. He'd played that role for months, when he'd been with Representative Sean Reeves. But he figures that if Steve wants to maintain his privacy, then maybe he should at least offer.]
But if reporters or even some random person with a phone sees us together and takes our picture, it's gonna make headlines. [And not the good kind. He can see it now -- Former First Son Corrupting Captain America.] We could stay in if you'd rather. [His voice is quiet.]
I don't mind being seen with you, TJ. Let the papers talk. But I just don't know if you want to invite that sort of thing into your life.
[ He knows they're pretty vicious to him, to them both really. He's okay with it - no one in his life to judge him, or tell him who he can and can't see. But that's not the same for TJ. ]
And I don't want this to be a secret. I'm not ashamed. I need you to know that. I just also like having a little privacy. But I know we can't have that.
[He gives Steve a small, rueful smile at that. He hasn't had an ounce of privacy since he was a kid in the North Carolina governor's mansion. It's why he'd dismissed the security team. Did it mean he was going to be targeted by random people because of his last name? It's possible. But if the tradeoff is a little bit of peace, a little bit of privacy, he's willing to risk it, no matter how upset his mom is about it. His dad, too, probably, but he doesn't talk to him that much.]
I'm not ashamed to be seen with you, either. But you're right. People will see us and make a lot of assumptions.
[And this is only their first date. This isn't a normal situation by any means. Maybe he shouldn't have admitted his feelings for Steve went a little beyond friendship, because he really did enjoy spending time with him.]
Maybe it won't be so bad here in New York.
[Living in DC he'd been under a microscope all the time. It never ended.]
The gossip in New York hasn't gotten better since the 1700s.
[ They certainly weren't very good in the 1940s. In any case, he doesn't really mind, but he knows that this is going to be a big to-do. But he does want to acknowledge that it is, because he wants to give TJ a fair chance. He deserves that. ]
We could lie to the press.
I just. Don't want this to affect either of us.
[ And get in the way of what might be a nice relationship. ]
[He winces a little at that. Point taken. He chews his lower lip, finishing his flower arrangement in the pitcher and leaning on the counter as he studies Steve.]
We could.
[He has no qualms lying to the press, really, even if for the most part he just tries to avoid them all together. He also knows that there are some really nasty journalists out there who latch onto something and remain latched onto it until eventually the truth shakes loose, even if that truth is no one else's business at all. He thinks briefly of Susan Berg and how she'd blackmailed his mom into interviews in return for keeping his suicide attempt under wraps. She may not have meant for that to come out, but it had anyway. Reporters couldn't be trusted. Ever.]
We could tell them you're mentoring me to try and keep me off drugs. [That would at least be believable.]
[ He raises his eyebrow. It's not like he actually would sign up to do that, because that seems highly personal and like he would want to be on call and available all the time, which he can't be.
But if it's a somewhat passable excuse, then maybe they could use it. ]
If you think that'll work.
[ But in any case, that's something for them to figure out later. Now that the flowers are put away... ]
[He's confident that not only will it work, his mom's entire public relations team will eat it up. Kinda makes his stomach turn to think about it, but. It is a reasonable excuse even if it's not something Steve would actually sign on for.]
Yeah. I had a cup already but I need multiple cups to continue being a human being.
[His lips curve upwards into a tiny smile, only half kidding about that.]
[TJ finds himself holding his breath even as Steve holds his hand out toward him. He pushes away from the counter and slips his hand into the other man's, linking their fingers together, an almost shy smile on his face now.]
So I take it that means you are not a fan of Starbucks?
[His voice is teasing as they head for the front door, TJ grabbing his keys off the little table and sliding them into his pocket.]
Definitely not. We can go, but I'll just want a black coffee, no cream, no sugar.
[ Not one of those coffees that's really just dessert. He hates those.
He'd much rather just drink something that's burnt or sludgy tasting. But he also likes sweet things that are dessert that are classically cakey or pie-like. Just not as a drink. ]
What's your coffee order? I feel like I should get to know it.
No. As long as you don't put any of that in mine. It'll be good; we'll know whose cup is whose.
[ Both of them will take a sip of the other and hand it to the other one. No ambiguities there.
Steve finds that the city's nice to walk around in, and while they're up here where it's normal to see either of them, they don't get accosted too much on the street. ]
It is going to be a pretty long walk.
[ He forgets that not everyone likes to run for miles at a time. ]
Deal. I won't make your coffee taste better. Promise. [He teases, mostly because he knows Steve has a sense of humor that a lot of people don't seem to know about.
And he doesn't protest the walking, because it's a nice day, and he's with Steve, and while he doesn't actively work out much these days, he's in good shape. It's fine.]
[ The sun is shining, and it doesn't smell like trash because they're not walking along the avenue. ]
So what made you ask me out anyway?
[ He's just curious. They've known each other for a little bit, and he hadn't thought this was where it was headed at all. He's not mad about it. He could do a lot worse. He's just hoping there are sparks. ]
[And they're still holding hands, and doing that with anyone at this point is so foreign to TJ when he's out in public that he's trying not to think about it, because he likes it.]
Well.
[He exhales, considering his words carefully before answering.]
I like spending time with you, for one. [He's not constantly reminded of who he is. He can just be TJ for awhile and not Former President Bud Hammond's son, or Secretary of State Elaine Barrish's son, or Dougie's fucked up twin brother.] I like your smile, and your laugh. And I think maybe we kinda have similar feelings about some stuff. And, okay, not to be blunt, but you are like...incredibly attractive, Steve.
[ Well, those are all good things. And he doesn't even remember the last time he laughed, but he must have. That must've been good. He used to laugh a lot more, before he went into the ice. ]
I do think we'll have a lot in common.
[ And TJ's not too hard on the eyes. Obviously. But that's going to be difficult to explain. ]
I am glad you asked; you're. Well, you're not like I thought you'd be, when we first met.
[TJ's pretty sure they do, if it's only because neither one of them love being in the press, or having to put on a facade for the country for the benefit of the country. Or, in TJ's case, for the benefit of his family.]
What'd you think I'd be like?
[He has a good idea, even if the picture isn't a pretty one. A drugged out playboy, always looking for his next fix. The Hammond family fuckup. Some pathetic American punchline. And none of it would be wrong, really. That's who he's been most of his life, but he's trying so damned hard not to be any of those things anymore. It's just. Hard.]
Thought you were going to be one of those guys who partied too much and took people for granted.
[ So he's happy to find out that that was just some overblown story exacerbated by TJ maybe trying to put on the image of living up to the hype to avoid people getting close to him.
[That's undoubtedly true. If TJ wanted to continue being that kind of guy, he would have stayed in DC to keep close contact with the dealers that he knew and trusted, with the acquaintances that he'd partied with. He wouldn't have met Steve in New York at all. And if on some random chance they had met, TJ definitely wouldn't have struck up a conversation with him, or hung out with him, and he definitely wouldn't have ended up with feelings for the guy. He wouldn't have allowed it again.]
Yeah.
[He squeezes Steve's hand in return, considering.]
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As far as houses go, it probably is nicer than a lot of places in the city. His furniture is nice -- both visually appealing to him and comfortable -- but likely the most eye catching thing in the room is the baby grand piano in the corner, near the balcony.]
Uh, yeah. [He fishes around in a cabinet until he finds what he's looking for: a glass pitcher meant for tea or lemonade. He fills it with tepid water from the tap and carefully arranges the flowers in it.]
I...may have dismissed my security team.
[Which definitely hadn't made his mom very happy.]
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Yeah.
This place is a lot nicer than most places he's seen and definitely the place he lives in. ]
Well, if it's any consolation, I think you're pretty secure with me.
[ They won't have anything to worry about. And neither will his mother. Unless-- ]
Is this a secret? By the way?
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Oh. Uh, no, I -- permanently dismissed them. [He shrugs a little, though, now considering something else that he probably should have thought about before.]
Unless - I mean. [He hesitates, not really loving the idea of being someone else's dirty little secret again. He'd played that role for months, when he'd been with Representative Sean Reeves. But he figures that if Steve wants to maintain his privacy, then maybe he should at least offer.]
But if reporters or even some random person with a phone sees us together and takes our picture, it's gonna make headlines. [And not the good kind. He can see it now -- Former First Son Corrupting Captain America.] We could stay in if you'd rather. [His voice is quiet.]
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I don't mind being seen with you, TJ. Let the papers talk. But I just don't know if you want to invite that sort of thing into your life.
[ He knows they're pretty vicious to him, to them both really. He's okay with it - no one in his life to judge him, or tell him who he can and can't see. But that's not the same for TJ. ]
And I don't want this to be a secret. I'm not ashamed. I need you to know that. I just also like having a little privacy. But I know we can't have that.
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I'm not ashamed to be seen with you, either. But you're right. People will see us and make a lot of assumptions.
[And this is only their first date. This isn't a normal situation by any means. Maybe he shouldn't have admitted his feelings for Steve went a little beyond friendship, because he really did enjoy spending time with him.]
Maybe it won't be so bad here in New York.
[Living in DC he'd been under a microscope all the time. It never ended.]
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The gossip in New York hasn't gotten better since the 1700s.
[ They certainly weren't very good in the 1940s. In any case, he doesn't really mind, but he knows that this is going to be a big to-do. But he does want to acknowledge that it is, because he wants to give TJ a fair chance. He deserves that. ]
We could lie to the press.
I just. Don't want this to affect either of us.
[ And get in the way of what might be a nice relationship. ]
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We could.
[He has no qualms lying to the press, really, even if for the most part he just tries to avoid them all together. He also knows that there are some really nasty journalists out there who latch onto something and remain latched onto it until eventually the truth shakes loose, even if that truth is no one else's business at all. He thinks briefly of Susan Berg and how she'd blackmailed his mom into interviews in return for keeping his suicide attempt under wraps. She may not have meant for that to come out, but it had anyway. Reporters couldn't be trusted. Ever.]
We could tell them you're mentoring me to try and keep me off drugs. [That would at least be believable.]
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But if it's a somewhat passable excuse, then maybe they could use it. ]
If you think that'll work.
[ But in any case, that's something for them to figure out later. Now that the flowers are put away... ]
Do you still want coffee?
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Yeah. I had a cup already but I need multiple cups to continue being a human being.
[His lips curve upwards into a tiny smile, only half kidding about that.]
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[ He holds out a hand so that TJ can take his, because apparently that's where he's at right now. ]
It's not fancy, there's no new-age coffee that's too acidic, it's just good coffee, regulars, and decent pastries.
[ Of course Steve would pick a really practical cafe like this one to be his favorite, one with bench seating that doesn't have cushy chairs. ]
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So I take it that means you are not a fan of Starbucks?
[His voice is teasing as they head for the front door, TJ grabbing his keys off the little table and sliding them into his pocket.]
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[ Not one of those coffees that's really just dessert. He hates those.
He'd much rather just drink something that's burnt or sludgy tasting. But he also likes sweet things that are dessert that are classically cakey or pie-like. Just not as a drink. ]
What's your coffee order? I feel like I should get to know it.
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[He glances at Steve sideways as they step out into the hallway and he locks up the apartment door.]
I like a lot of cream and sugar in mine.
[The sweeter the better, really, especially when he's not actively using drugs.]
Is that a deal breaker?
[He's mostly kidding, but there's an underlying question there, because some people are super serious about coffee.]
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[ Both of them will take a sip of the other and hand it to the other one. No ambiguities there.
Steve finds that the city's nice to walk around in, and while they're up here where it's normal to see either of them, they don't get accosted too much on the street. ]
It is going to be a pretty long walk.
[ He forgets that not everyone likes to run for miles at a time. ]
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Deal. I won't make your coffee taste better. Promise. [He teases, mostly because he knows Steve has a sense of humor that a lot of people don't seem to know about.
And he doesn't protest the walking, because it's a nice day, and he's with Steve, and while he doesn't actively work out much these days, he's in good shape. It's fine.]
It's all right. Good day for it.
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[ The sun is shining, and it doesn't smell like trash because they're not walking along the avenue. ]
So what made you ask me out anyway?
[ He's just curious. They've known each other for a little bit, and he hadn't thought this was where it was headed at all. He's not mad about it. He could do a lot worse. He's just hoping there are sparks. ]
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[And they're still holding hands, and doing that with anyone at this point is so foreign to TJ when he's out in public that he's trying not to think about it, because he likes it.]
Well.
[He exhales, considering his words carefully before answering.]
I like spending time with you, for one. [He's not constantly reminded of who he is. He can just be TJ for awhile and not Former President Bud Hammond's son, or Secretary of State Elaine Barrish's son, or Dougie's fucked up twin brother.] I like your smile, and your laugh. And I think maybe we kinda have similar feelings about some stuff. And, okay, not to be blunt, but you are like...incredibly attractive, Steve.
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[ Well, those are all good things. And he doesn't even remember the last time he laughed, but he must have. That must've been good. He used to laugh a lot more, before he went into the ice. ]
I do think we'll have a lot in common.
[ And TJ's not too hard on the eyes. Obviously. But that's going to be difficult to explain. ]
I am glad you asked; you're. Well, you're not like I thought you'd be, when we first met.
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What'd you think I'd be like?
[He has a good idea, even if the picture isn't a pretty one. A drugged out playboy, always looking for his next fix. The Hammond family fuckup. Some pathetic American punchline. And none of it would be wrong, really. That's who he's been most of his life, but he's trying so damned hard not to be any of those things anymore. It's just. Hard.]
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[ So he's happy to find out that that was just some overblown story exacerbated by TJ maybe trying to put on the image of living up to the hype to avoid people getting close to him.
Clearly. At least, that's what Steve believes. ]
But I nearly fell for it.
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That was me, once. [His voice is hushed.]
I was a mess, even up til a few months ago. But that's not the person that I want to be. It's...mostly why I got out of DC and moved to New York.
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[ Well, he has an apologetic smile for TJ. ]
You're not that guy anymore.
[ He reaches out and squeezes his hand. ]
Trust me, I wouldn't be getting coffee with that guy.
[ He's trying to make TJ feel better. Is it working? ]
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Yeah.
[He squeezes Steve's hand in return, considering.]
Life got a bit less complicated when I left DC.
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[ Steve doesn't know the whole story, but he's happier for TJ now that he's out of all that scene. ]
Hey, is there anything you want to do on the way downtown?
[ It's going to be a long walk, so he thought he'd ask. And he's okay with just popping into someplace that looks promising on their way down. ]
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[He's fine to just see where the day takes them, really, a thing he hasn't appreciated enough over the years.]
Any suggestions, though? Of places that we should see or do on the way?
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