He takes a deep breath. Because he knows it's frustrating for Bucky, but it's also frustrating for Steve because he doesn't know how to address this situation at all, and everything he proposes seems to go from bad to worse.
"I won't," he says, curling an arm around Bucky. "I wouldn't, not unless you wanted me to go." And that's the truth: he'd do it for Bucky, but only if he said so. Only if that's what he wanted, or needed, even if it would hurt Steve to comply. But Steve... hard as it is for him to live in this modern world, adapted. and that's what he was trying to do with Bucky, but maybe that's just because he only knows how to do it the way he did: join a team, go on missions, make some friends.
"Do you think we could," he says, finally, with a pause. "Call your therapist?" He thinks maybe they need a mediator. He's never felt so out of sync with Bucky before, like he can't reach him.
He listens, waits as he doesn't even know what he can say that won't muddle things more. How can he even get into the details when they will only hurt Steve? Bucky doesn't want that. They've both been through enough already. Bucky doesn't want to be the newest problem in the long line of endless trouble.
There are few things that could make him feel as broken and helpless as Steve suggesting Bucky contact Raynor. His shoulders sink, eyes averting.
"She's not really my therapist anymore. That was. Just for the pardon. I don't. I'm not a client of hers anymore."
Well, that was a horrible decision, he thinks, to have let her go and to have made her not Bucky's therapist anymore. So he heaves a sigh and says: "we could get you a new one. Or maybe, we both should go."
Because he does want Bucky to know that they should go together, like couple's therapy or something, for friends. It seems to have worked with him and Sam, at least a little bit. And Steve feels like this is no longer something they can just settle with the two of them.
Things have just gotten complicated.
"I can set it up. We can even call your old therapist, see if she'll take us on as clients." Since he seems to have liked her, and there's not really a way he can see wanting to start over with someone new and have Buck not trust that person.
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no subject
"I won't," he says, curling an arm around Bucky. "I wouldn't, not unless you wanted me to go." And that's the truth: he'd do it for Bucky, but only if he said so. Only if that's what he wanted, or needed, even if it would hurt Steve to comply. But Steve... hard as it is for him to live in this modern world, adapted. and that's what he was trying to do with Bucky, but maybe that's just because he only knows how to do it the way he did: join a team, go on missions, make some friends.
"Do you think we could," he says, finally, with a pause. "Call your therapist?" He thinks maybe they need a mediator. He's never felt so out of sync with Bucky before, like he can't reach him.
no subject
There are few things that could make him feel as broken and helpless as Steve suggesting Bucky contact Raynor. His shoulders sink, eyes averting.
"She's not really my therapist anymore. That was. Just for the pardon. I don't. I'm not a client of hers anymore."
no subject
Because he does want Bucky to know that they should go together, like couple's therapy or something, for friends. It seems to have worked with him and Sam, at least a little bit. And Steve feels like this is no longer something they can just settle with the two of them.
Things have just gotten complicated.
"I can set it up. We can even call your old therapist, see if she'll take us on as clients." Since he seems to have liked her, and there's not really a way he can see wanting to start over with someone new and have Buck not trust that person.