[It really takes no time at all for the rest of Tony's tension to almost visibly bleed right out of him when Steve puts his hands in his hair. He eases back, head laying into Steve's fingers and palms. If he could just be like this forever life would probably be amazing. But in response to Steve's question he doesn't hesitate when he answers:]
Constantly.
[There's no punch in the word, more like he breathes it out slowly. Time is always marching on a little too fast for him. He has always tried to hide that he feels he and Steve have been mismatched in that area, even if he's not always the best at it. He's always worried that he'd age far quicker, would slow Steve down eventually- and he feels like that has definitely happened. He feels like his clock is accelerated and Steve's going at a much slower rate. With Alice it's even easier to visibly see the flow. She gets bigger every day. So he appreciates deeply where Steve's coming from.]
Yeah... [It's a very soft agreement.] I look at her sometimes and I don't know how she got so big. [She barely fit in his arms yesterday, some days it feels like.] But depending on what she wants to do, her timeline might be condensed, too. Not that I want her to go to college at fourteen. [Tony will never be sure if that did him more harm than good, ultimately, on a growth level. On a social level. ...especially on some other levels he cannot bring up in relation to their little girl.]
Maybe we'll get lucky. And she won't want anything to do with anything we do. [Anything. If she just wanted to travel the world Tony would be fine. If she wanted to do nothing, Tony would be fine. He was never enough for his father, but the moment Alice was born she was Tony's everything. He has no expectations for her future other than that she's happy.] Except art, maybe. [His head tips back a little more so he can smile at Steve.] At this point I think we're gonna have to buy a second fridge just to hang all her masterpieces up.
[ Steve continues on in massaging Tony's scalp, loving that it makes him relax like putty in his hands. That's wonderful. He wants this for Tony, always. Tony, his amazing husband, who their enemies keep trying to take from him. But so long as Steve lives and breathes, he won't allow it. ]
If she goes to college so young, maybe we could convince her to stay in the area. That way, she could still see her friends on the weekends. It'll be good for her to have friends her age.
[ He assumes Tony didn't, and made friends with an older crowd, which made him feel so much older and more mature than his age. He is a little bit worried that Alice will inherit her father's penchant for partying, and all the bad habits that come with being a young, rich girl who's strikingly beautiful and a charismatic supergenius.
He doesn't see that for her right now, but right now she's barely exited from toddlerhood. Still, when she was a baby, he had a hard time visualizing her even like this. And all his predictions, all his thoughts had been proven wrong, but in the best way. Alice was better than he'd even dreamed. ]
I don't think we've got that much luck left, Tony, but, I'll keep an open mind.
[ He continues to lathe warm water over Tony's chest, just to warm him up. He leaves the conditioner in, so they can soak as long as they want. And Steve can indulge Tony as much as he wishes. ]
I would hope she would. If she goes that young, that's too young to be on her own. [Never mind that he did it. Maybe it's because he did it that he knows that's not what he wants for her. Not what will be good for her. If she wanted to go off to college very early he would at least hope that she'd pick one close and commute from home. ...but that's a long time from now, he tries to convince himself. She's still little. They still have tons of time.
A bittersweet sounding chuckle leaks out from him, a little shake of his head.] Luck is an empty concept. About the same as fate- which if we even begin to agree that exists, you've already proved is easily altered with enough willpower. I think luck falls into the same category. [At some point Tony's going to have to admit to himself he doesn't know what he believes anymore. He's seen so much. So many things that didn't always fit in with what he knew of the world. It's always good to expand one's point of view when presented with more evidence but... some of it's just too much. About as too much as it gets when linked in consideration with the fact that he's just a guy.
Man in a can. Doing the best he's able to alongside everyone else. He hopes Alice will never have to face things like that. He doesn't want that for her. What they do, and how he copes. He wants so much better for her.
He leans completely back against Steve while they're relaxing. Soaking still. His eyes close and he feels that tiredness just seep in to every pore. He suddenly finds himself worried he'll doze off against Steve. The only way he knows to fight that is to keep talking. So very belatedly he speaks up again but there's some obvious drift in his voice.] -we can't tell her she can't. If she's so much like me, telling her she can't do something will make her wanna do it more. Just keep that in mind. [If Alice decided she wanted to don a suit or pick up the shield, if Tony and Steve fought her on it that would only just drive her to do it more. Tony knows this deeply.]
[ Steve loves Tony more than he knows. It's deep, runs into his soul and has really made itself part of Steve's identity. He's Steve Rogers: soldier, American, father of Alice, husband of Tony Stark. And even then, he's not unaware of Tony's flaws. But he knows that Alice is going to grow into them, because some of them are ones Steve also has. Chiefly, they're both stubborn and they march to the beat of their own drum.
He trusts Alice to make good decisions in the future, because he'll have to trust that the two of them have raised her correctly. But he knows Tony's nature, and he is definitely not looking forward to Alice starting arguments with him just because she can. ]
You're gonna have to remind me, when the time comes.
[ It's that simple. Tony won't always be there, but he will when Alice is a teenager. He has to be. Steve knows that realistically, if neither of them die in battle, that it's more likely Tony will die first, and Steve doesn't want to look at years spent without him. He doubts he'll ever be ready to confront it, but certainly not right now, when Tony's promised him he'll fix this.
His arms wrap around Tony as he pulls him tighter into him, curling around his form, wanting to cocoon him. ]
We should move this to bed. I've got the electric blanket on, so it'll be warm.
[ He presses a kiss to Tony's cheek and starts rinsing out the shampoo. ]
[He hears that request for what it is. And what he offers, quietly but immediately, is easy.] I'll be here.
[It's the promise he might have to keep making, to the both of them and maybe even to Alice if she digests all the information presented and can't exist happily with what's going on. He imagines he might say it a lot in the coming few weeks, however long it takes to sort this out. Hopefully not too long, because he doesn't want this to drag on but also because he doesn't really think they have that much time. But that doesn't need voicing.
He rests his head back against Steve's shoulder, slipping a little lower under the water, even as Steve voices the prudent thought that they should move.] Yeah. That sounds nice. [Something he agrees with and yet it feels almost impossible to move just then. Still, the water is only getting cooler. So he enjoys this for a few moments more before acquiescing, allowing Steve to help rinse the rest of his hair out and then starts draining the tub.
Standing, he stretches just a little from the soles of his feet all the way up to his shoulders. There are just kinks and aches he's developed over the entire course of his life that he's well accepted by now are never coming out. But he does grin a little.] I'd get a towel but I'd hate to deny you your favorite part. [He's definitely learned by now. How much Steve seems to love wrapping him up. And he'd be a liar if he tried to deny that he likes it, too.]
[ Steve helps Tony to rinse out the rest of his hair and then, yes, does get out of the tub to go retrieve towels to wrap up his husband in, because he's never gotten over the simple joy of cocooning him in something soft and fluffy and warm. To be quite fair, he enjoys doing this with Alice, too, and she's finally gotten too old to allow papa to help her bathe.
Yes, on the one hand, that makes him quite sad that she's growing up before their eyes, but on the other hand, isn't that part of it? He also has enjoyed seeing how she's developed into a bright young girl, and start developing her own personality. But sometimes she acts so much like her dad that it breaks Steve's heart, like he's two minutes away from mistaking them once she's grown older and started getting into his band tees and into welding.
Steve will fight it all the way, but she idolizes Tony, so to Steve, that seems a little inevitable. ]
Can I interest you in a shoulder rub?
[ These are the types of things that Steve pays attention to, every time that they're here. But it's also part of the deal now. Tony has so many aches and pains and Steve likes to check off that they're doing the most to mitigate each and every one of them. ]
[He steps out of the tub carefully and submits so willingly and easily to the way Steve wraps him up. It helps fight off the immediate chill of moving from that warm water, but more than anything else it warms his heart. They have these little things, these little rituals that they've built up over the years. Things he doesn't know what he'd do without. Steve has always been almost overwhelmingly loving and kind and sweet to him. Maybe more so because Tony at times doesn't believe he deserves it. But Steve makes it so easy.
A little laugh escapes him, at the question, and even though he shakes his head he's definitely thinking about it.] I know we've joked about it a million times before but I might actually melt into a puddle of goo this time. [Which isn't a no because of course that sounds amazing. Steve's hands on him, any way he can get them, still is a notion Tony will always say yes to. There are feelings that he thinks haven't waned in the slightest, only grown brighter in intensity the longer they've been together. That's definitely one of them.]
But I'm thinking if I offer you one in return you'd say no. [Because Steve deserves to relax, too. God, he really does after everything. And Tony is almost desperate to find a way to make it happen. Anything that would help, after what he feels like is him putting his family through this, he wants to do.]
[ They have so many things that they just do naturally now, getting into the rhythm of it. And when the two of them do anything, somehow they just find something that works and stick with it. He knows Tony's not a big fan of routine, and Steve's not exactly the most spontaneous type of person, but it's also become so easy for them to find a compromise. ]
Alright, well, maybe you go first, and I'll go second.
[ Steve doesn't really need it, but he won't say no to Tony touching him in any regard, and he won't say no to Tony trying to spoil him good. He used to not want to have it reciprocated because he didn't see the point and he'd rather spend more of their time trying to work out Tony's many knots, but at some point he'd realized that it was like how Tony lets him get his towels for him and do his drying for him: it's just part of the charm.
And so, he dries himself off and gets dressed, drapes one of his shirts around Tony's shoulders both to keep him warm and because he looks so sweet wearing Steve's shirts.
He takes a seat on their bed, in their room, in their house which they'd built together, which reflected the both of them perfectly. The bed is so comfortable, handsome, well-made, sturdy. It's a joy to sleep in every night, and wake up in every morning. He looks over his shoulder and smiles over at Tony, beckoning him closer. ]
[It's a dangerous proposition and Tony already knows why it's being made. It very well might be likely that once Steve is done he will be a little puddle and with the way he is right now, he might drift. But that wouldn't exactly stop him from powering through so that he could pay it back to Steve. He just already knows how that'll go.
He doesn't see a point for him to get very dressed, since he's about to lie face down and let Steve work some wonders along his aching muscles. So he ends up drying off just a little more and then settling the towel around his waist. Although he does tug at the shirt suddenly over his shoulders, but doesn't slip his arms in.
Almost immediately, as if Steve has thrown a rope around him and pulled, he goes once they lock eyes. And maybe he shouldn't- okay definitely shouldn't, in a suddenly very full house of guests and Alice- but he settles over Steve, slotting into his lap as he kneels on the bed and then lowers to sit. He arms wrap lightly around Steve's neck and he's very deliberate, careful, slow as he kisses him. Not aiming to stir up trouble, for once in his life. It's something very sweet, maybe even just a touch needy. When they part he brushes his nose against Steve's.]
I'll be good in just a minute. [Promising with a quiet grin, kissing Steve again. Still with that same level of softness. He really is being good, he thinks. Just sometimes he can't really help himself.]
[ Steve did in fact, get dressed because he had somehow thought they were just going to do a little innocent massaging and then get some sleep, but of course he's more than happy to change what he thought were his plans when Tony gets in his lap, his arms automatically going to rest around the small of his back. Tony's so precious to him, and Steve kisses him soft and slow.
Many things have changed about Tony in the ensuing years after Thanos. Steve has become more gentle with Tony, has pulled back much more than he used to, though he's certain that frustrates Tony quite a lot. He knows it, but he doesn't want Tony to hurt. Certainly not for selfish reasons like Steve just can't help himself. But many other things have remained the same: Tony tastes the same, he kisses the same, and Steve wants him all the same as he ever did.
Tony informs him that he'll be good, and Steve will save it, he thinks, for when they come out of the other end of this. It just feels like with the regaining of all the population, they should have been able to celebrate sooner, but they really haven't. So when Tony's all healed up, they will. Whatever he wants: a vacation, some new suits, new beachfront property. Steve won't say no, and he won't have the heart to, he'll just be so happy to have Tony still.
But for right now, Tony's right. He claims another kiss first, before they both decide to be good. This time, he kisses a little bit harder, but reels back just before things can get too heated. ]
You might've gotten bumped down because of Alice, but you're still the second most beautiful thing I've ever had in my arms.
[ For a moment, Steve just holds him there, and lowers his head onto his heart, listens to that heartbeat that still hammers on defiantly. ]
[It might be frustrating but Tony understands it. Steve had always been that way, and especially when they first started. Tony had more than once goaded and even straight out tried to explain him being a little rougher was fine. Appreciated even. He misses it. He does. But he's also not an idiot. He knows what his condition is. And he'd never think to push the line that far, especially not when the outcome could be him actually getting hurt and then Steve never forgiving himself for it.
When he's better. He keeps promising himself that. But when he's better, if he gets everything he wants out of this, they'll resume life. And it'll be good.
A thought that's backed further when Steve kisses him a little harder, something he can't help the soft noise over. Miss might be too light a word, but it'll have to do for now. He leaves one arm around Steve, his other hand going into Steve's hair when he leans on him. His chest rumbles as he laughs lightly.]
Still haven't lost your romantic touch. [Teasing him. His hand moves through Steve's hair in a light few passes.] But, fine. I'd have to agree with you. We both got bumped when she was born. [They're definitely the most dad two men could be. He's not sure how he settled into it. It's almost a miracle. Steve, he thinks, had always been destined for that. With such a huge heart and so much love to give. Tony had taken a little more time to find it all. At least that's how he'd tell it.]
[ Steve doesn't mind playing second fiddle to Alice, who is both more beautiful than him and a more fun conversationalist by far. She's always got something so interesting and actually profound to say. It's no stretch of the imagination that she's Tony's daughter, because she takes after him in so many ways. And most certainly, she got his mind.
It is a miracle, that they got here. Some days Steve thought Tony would never want children, and so he'd have to write them off as a possibility. And sometimes watching Tony with Alice, his heart fills up to bursting with affection for the two of them. They're perfect together, his two favorite people in the universe. He can't imagine a life without either, and he's so glad Tony came around. Because if he had to put his money on it, he'd say being a father is one of the best things Tony would say he's ever done.
And, because Tony doesn't seem like he actually wants to get off Steve's lap, he'll take off his shirt and guide Tony's hands to his delts. ]
Can't get too sappy, Tony, we've got guests who have to deal with us in the morning.
[ He'd absolutely make like it was their honeymoon and fawn over Tony all day long even in front of their guests, if it was something that would make him feel better. But, he thinks that's unlikely, and what's more likely is that they'll get a little rest and Steve will wake up extra early to cook and they'll try to save Tony's life all day until they do. ]
[If it were up to Tony and they had no other responsibilities or duties, he'd probably never vacate the spot. Truly one of his favorites. So he's extremely pleased when Steve allows him to stay a bit longer, and even more so when all that beautiful skin is revealed anew to him. His hands already move to wander, but he appreciates the direction he's being given.
Working his fingers and palms into Steve's muscles as he rests down against him just a little more.]
I mean. It is our house. [Taking just a little mock-offense to the idea that he can't be with his husband as he pleases in their own home.] And anyone who doesn't know how we are by now might be willingly blind. [The two of them had always been obnoxious, Tony thinks, once they'd found their groove. Aside that, Tony never let other people's opinions define what he did, and even less so in how that presented in how he was with Steve.
He fans his hands along Steve's shoulder blades, digging in there just a little with a firm touch.] But they'll be in good company, at least. Alice has certainly gotten a lot more vocal about it lately. [As little kids tended to do when their parents had the audacity to smooch each other in front of them. He finds it funny, though. Which, of course, only makes him wanna do it more.]
[ It does feel good to have Tony's hands all on him, surrounding him, pushing into his muscle and trying to ease his soul through easing his muscles. Any aches and pains are quickly dispatched but he appreciates Tony nonetheless, who's incredibly sweet to him.
And, all right, maybe when he's not paying too much attention he lets out a little groan that sounds maybe just a tad dirtier than he means it to be. His eyes flutter shut and he thinks he'd better get started on Tony's shoulder rub too, but he'll work through the muscles in his back first, up the sides of his obliques. ]
Well, Alice doesn't get a say because if we didn't fall in love, she wouldn't be here.
[ Of course he understands that all kids will think their parents kissing is gross, but it's also quite necessary. And all in all, she'll appreciate someday that her parents are so in love after all these years, and have such a healthy relationship when she's older. He hopes they'll show her what a supportive and good partnership looks like. ]
[Tony drinks in each one of those little noises and knows he can't let them get to him too hard. He can't feed into them. Because if they can't get too sweet on each other, then they definitely can't let any sort of fire build. It's still nice, though. Made that much nicer when he feels Steve's hands moving up his back.
He can't help himself, either, arching just a little. Maybe made a little precarious due to his position, but he's sure he could lean all the way back into Steve's hands and Steve would still just hold him up. There's always been a deep level of trust there that has only grown more with time. Tony, at this point, puts every ounce of it in Steve and has even had his life saved by him.
Still. He can't seem to help his snort.] You try telling her that and I'm sure she'll have some snappy response to it. [Smart mouth, he thinks. Same as him. Some day he might really regret giving her that trait, or teaching it to her with the way they talk to each other sometimes. Right now it's cute and funny. It probably won't be when she's a teenager.
There's a knot that Steve catches with his hands after that that has Tony going a little boneless atop him with a punch of air out, just a quarter tinged with that good sort of pain, clutching to him. And it's just short of begging, breath drawn as he makes the request,] Get that one out, would you? [He doesn't want Steve to stop.]
[ Steve is very intimately acquainted with Tony's body. And even if it's a lot different than he remembers, he's still very much aware of every bit of it, because he can't possibly rely on Tony to tell him when something's wrong, and sometimes FRIDAY's sworn to secrecy. So Steve keeps a running tally of everything he notices about Tony's body.
And so, he knows that knot is there, he can feel that stiffness in his muscle, and he works towards getting it out, making sure his muscles feel pliant again. He knows that with Tony's line of work he tends to get a lot of them, and with all the stress lately, he surely has tons more for Steve to work out. ]
I can't be out-sassed by a five-year-old, Tony. I just can't.
[ But he says this affectionately, because he most certainly will be. She's just as quick as her dad is, too, so that sort of gives her the edge. ]
You'll have to have my back on that one.
[ Because Steve knows he's sort of old-fashioned and he knows he's going to fight with Alice about that when she's older, but Tony will need to mediate, since he's the cool, hip dad. ]
[Both his hands press flat against Steve's back then, almost pushing himself all the more into the way Steve is working his skin. A soft groan leaks out of him, just a little tightly tinged, brows knit while Steve is working so diligently.]
Always. Can't have her thinking she can talk back to us like that or we'll just end up with another me. [Well aware of who he is and all his faults at this stage of his life. He's tempered, these days, but he still runs his mouth when the opportunity arises.] If we're lucky she'll pick up all your sweetness and it'll balance her out.
[She'll be a good kid no matter what, this he has no doubts of. But. ...he already knows they're in for one hell of a ride when she starts hitting double digits. Steve's influence or not. He hangs on to Steve in a little tremble, another breath escaping him in a hiss as Steve finally gets the one that had been bothering him the most out. He really does go a little weak atop him then, arms just hanging over Steve's shoulders.] Mn, thank you... [Quiet but genuine praise as more tension just bleeds out of him.]
[ They definitely have different parenting styles, but not clashing ones, at least. And at the very least, they both agree there should be a delineation between being a parent and being a friend. They are Alice's friends, but they're parents first. ]
You can be sweet too, sometimes. Always with me.
[ So it's a good chance that Alice winds up skewing towards Steve's level of open generosity. But once she hits those teen years, he also knows that she'll doubtless wind up with lots of things said that she might not mean, or may not be able to communicate properly. He thinks not having someone on that front had made Tony a little bitter into his adulthood, and he doesn't want that for Alice.
Steve keeps working at it until he can feel Tony slump just a little over him. He isn't expecting a thanks, but he'll take it. He pauses then for a moment, just to hold Tony. ]
You're easy to be sweet to. And love. [It had always seemed to be the case. Especially as they'd first started falling in love. He'd found himself immediately wanting to do things for Steve, just to make him happy. Because Steve deserved that. He'll never forget how the way Steve lit up over that book in that donut shop had made him feel. It had been electric. It was probably right at that moment that he'd made a promise somewhere that he'd do anything for Steve. And they hadn't even confessed to each other they'd liked one another like that, let alone Tony confessing it to himself.
He settles a little more in Steve's lap, thighs squeezing against the side of Steve's. His arms drop, going beneath Steve's instead, pressing himself almost completely to him. Chest to chest as he works his palms along Steve's back.] How's this? [It's probably not the most conducive way for either of them to be giving the other one a massage but... it's them. So he's not really surprised it's ended up this way.
But he's at least a little honest, when his head drops to Steve's shoulder, and he admits,] Just a little hard to focus, when your hands are on me like that. [Never mind that it feels good. It's just always that way. His attention stolen away by allowing himself to feel every little way Steve's palms and fingers draw against his skin.]
[ This is not a position that's conductive to them getting any massaging done, but on the other hand, he can't possibly be mad about it when Tony's on his lap with his hands all over Steve's back, trying to make him feel the best he's ever felt. He'd never known a love like Tony's and he'd never want to from anyone else. ]
It's great. I love it when you touch me like this.
[ He leans into Tony and finds himself intoxicated by the scent of his skin and his radiant heat, tries so hard not to kiss his neck and get them both in a load of trouble. No, he'd promised he'd be good. Even Tony had promised he'd be good.
He starts work on Tony's shoulders, and focuses in on that, but it's hard to do so because he's distractingly attractive and the way he's touching Steve is doing everything for him. ]
[It would be only a little too easy to wind up, to build this, to give in. They've had to dial that a bit back, because Alice is always so near but they still have their moments. They can't seem to help but have their moments. Always drawn to each other. And when one starts... it always just seems inevitable.
He smiles into Steve's shoulder, feeling that slight slice of heat. Maybe he should have put clothes on, instead of straddling Steve in just a towel. There hadn't been the kind of intent behind it initially that there might be now.
And he shouldn't torture the both of them yet it just comes out of him anyway.]
Slow? [It's a delicate little purr, head tilted on Steve's shoulder, resting at the crook of his neck then, breath coming in short, warm draws against his skin. He uses just the tip of his fingers to touch gently down the length of Steve's spine.] I can go as slow as you need... [Tony promised he'd be good. He probably still will be. Maybe. He just can't help himself. For the exact same reason Steve's trying to pump the brakes.]
[ Steve can distinctly recall a time when he didn't always want Tony like this, but he can't actually remember the feeling. He can only recall it as a matter of fact, but he thinks about those old times where he used to have purely platonic or sometimes even negative feelings towards Tony, and even looking back now all the feelings he can conjure up are love and yes, lots of lust. ]
Tony, you didn't even put clothes on.
[ He holds onto Tony tightly, lays kisses underneath his jaw. They're not meant to go anywhere, but he still feels like they just might with the two of them like this. ]
You don't play fair.
[ He should stop. They have guests. Alice might awaken from a nightmare and come waddling in right this minute. Thankfully, FRIDAY's on Alice watch so they'll have ample opportunity for Tony to get under covers, but how are they supposed to face her when both of them are flushed and aroused?
He places a hand on Tony's chest and creates a tiny bit of distance. ]
[His head tips back at a sharp angle, unable to help himself. Giving Steve as much room to work with as the other needs. As much as Steve wants. And though his eyes close, hands pressing into Steve's back just to hang on almost, a grin warms his lips.]
Guilty. [He'll at least never deny what a menace he can be. Something that's only dimmed slightly due to the fact that they can't do whatever they want whenever they want. But that doesn't really stop him.
Which is why he's not surprised that Steve tries to even the both of them out. A huff that's somehow disappointed and amused all the same escapes him. He needs to respect the law here. To not try and coax more when he knows they can't have it right now. So he takes a deep breath to steady himself out and then brings his hands forward again.
He captures the side of Steve's face, tilting him into a very dutifully careful and sweet kiss. There's only a slight edge of heat but he really can't help that. Then when he breaks back, he promises,] When we're done. When I'm better. We'll let Alice have a sleepover at Morgan's. Full weekend. And then you and I are gonna revisit what it was like in Indonesia at the villa. [Tony will let Steve fuck the living daylights out of him on every piece of furniture they own, and he'll give it back tenfold, because don't they deserve that at this point? He presses his smile to Steve's lips but then backs off.]
Until then. I'll behave. But I want you to know how difficult that is. [Like he deserves a medal.]
[ They both deserve medals. Steve can hardly hold it together, and Tony can feel tenting in his shorts just exactly how much he can't hold it together at all. ]
Good, the girls will love that. And so will we.
[ He's working on Tony's arm now, because it sees a lot of damage and Tony's always making upgrades to the other one. Steve might as well fuss with the one he's still got that's flesh. He does like the metal one, but he feels like if anyone's going to work out its kinks, it'll be in code, not brute force. ]
God Tony, I don't think you understand how much I want you. It's like everything you do just sets me off.
[ But it's a good goal to work to. Once Tony gets better, then they'll have a whole weekend to themselves to give Tony's new body an endurance test run. Steve will try to be good, but they do have to break it in. ]
We could get the full experience, rent something out.
[ But staying at home near all the medical supplies and technology is also good, if they run into an emergency. ]
[Tony sits back a little more evenly on Steve's lap, lowering a bit. This has become a bit more than a shoulder rub but he instigated so that may be a little his fault. But he's also not surprised that Steve's wandering touch seems like it has so much ground to cover. His fingers flex, arm tensing just slightly underneath the touch before relaxing.
He's careful with his other hand, as he often has to be, touching along Steve's shoulder and towards the side of his neck. His smile is very telling as he watches him.]
Might be able to claim some innocence, then. If everything I do winds you up. [His hand slips up, touching along the side of Steve's face before metal fingers disappear into the length of his hair. He rests his forehead against Steve's then, eyes going half-lidded. And then in a smaller murmur he says,] I know. I want you pretty much every hour of every day, too. [And that's really never stopped being the case. Steve could sometimes just look at him from across a room and Tony would feel not only a flutter in his heart but just a heat. And it's been that way for so long that he can't imagine living life any other way.]
A cabin, maybe. Somewhere. We'll try not to break anything. [Which is never a guarantee with them, with how they get sometimes. He exhales soft and slow.] Why are your hands so good? [ An empty question while his mind is starting to become addled.] You really could've been the world's best masseuse, I think. Definitely lucky I'm the only one who knows that. [Luckier than lucky, at this point in his life.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Constantly.
[There's no punch in the word, more like he breathes it out slowly. Time is always marching on a little too fast for him. He has always tried to hide that he feels he and Steve have been mismatched in that area, even if he's not always the best at it. He's always worried that he'd age far quicker, would slow Steve down eventually- and he feels like that has definitely happened. He feels like his clock is accelerated and Steve's going at a much slower rate. With Alice it's even easier to visibly see the flow. She gets bigger every day. So he appreciates deeply where Steve's coming from.]
Yeah... [It's a very soft agreement.] I look at her sometimes and I don't know how she got so big. [She barely fit in his arms yesterday, some days it feels like.] But depending on what she wants to do, her timeline might be condensed, too. Not that I want her to go to college at fourteen. [Tony will never be sure if that did him more harm than good, ultimately, on a growth level. On a social level. ...especially on some other levels he cannot bring up in relation to their little girl.]
Maybe we'll get lucky. And she won't want anything to do with anything we do. [Anything. If she just wanted to travel the world Tony would be fine. If she wanted to do nothing, Tony would be fine. He was never enough for his father, but the moment Alice was born she was Tony's everything. He has no expectations for her future other than that she's happy.] Except art, maybe. [His head tips back a little more so he can smile at Steve.] At this point I think we're gonna have to buy a second fridge just to hang all her masterpieces up.
no subject
If she goes to college so young, maybe we could convince her to stay in the area. That way, she could still see her friends on the weekends. It'll be good for her to have friends her age.
[ He assumes Tony didn't, and made friends with an older crowd, which made him feel so much older and more mature than his age. He is a little bit worried that Alice will inherit her father's penchant for partying, and all the bad habits that come with being a young, rich girl who's strikingly beautiful and a charismatic supergenius.
He doesn't see that for her right now, but right now she's barely exited from toddlerhood. Still, when she was a baby, he had a hard time visualizing her even like this. And all his predictions, all his thoughts had been proven wrong, but in the best way. Alice was better than he'd even dreamed. ]
I don't think we've got that much luck left, Tony, but, I'll keep an open mind.
[ He continues to lathe warm water over Tony's chest, just to warm him up. He leaves the conditioner in, so they can soak as long as they want. And Steve can indulge Tony as much as he wishes. ]
no subject
A bittersweet sounding chuckle leaks out from him, a little shake of his head.] Luck is an empty concept. About the same as fate- which if we even begin to agree that exists, you've already proved is easily altered with enough willpower. I think luck falls into the same category. [At some point Tony's going to have to admit to himself he doesn't know what he believes anymore. He's seen so much. So many things that didn't always fit in with what he knew of the world. It's always good to expand one's point of view when presented with more evidence but... some of it's just too much. About as too much as it gets when linked in consideration with the fact that he's just a guy.
Man in a can. Doing the best he's able to alongside everyone else. He hopes Alice will never have to face things like that. He doesn't want that for her. What they do, and how he copes. He wants so much better for her.
He leans completely back against Steve while they're relaxing. Soaking still. His eyes close and he feels that tiredness just seep in to every pore. He suddenly finds himself worried he'll doze off against Steve. The only way he knows to fight that is to keep talking. So very belatedly he speaks up again but there's some obvious drift in his voice.] -we can't tell her she can't. If she's so much like me, telling her she can't do something will make her wanna do it more. Just keep that in mind. [If Alice decided she wanted to don a suit or pick up the shield, if Tony and Steve fought her on it that would only just drive her to do it more. Tony knows this deeply.]
no subject
He trusts Alice to make good decisions in the future, because he'll have to trust that the two of them have raised her correctly. But he knows Tony's nature, and he is definitely not looking forward to Alice starting arguments with him just because she can. ]
You're gonna have to remind me, when the time comes.
[ It's that simple. Tony won't always be there, but he will when Alice is a teenager. He has to be. Steve knows that realistically, if neither of them die in battle, that it's more likely Tony will die first, and Steve doesn't want to look at years spent without him. He doubts he'll ever be ready to confront it, but certainly not right now, when Tony's promised him he'll fix this.
His arms wrap around Tony as he pulls him tighter into him, curling around his form, wanting to cocoon him. ]
We should move this to bed. I've got the electric blanket on, so it'll be warm.
[ He presses a kiss to Tony's cheek and starts rinsing out the shampoo. ]
no subject
[It's the promise he might have to keep making, to the both of them and maybe even to Alice if she digests all the information presented and can't exist happily with what's going on. He imagines he might say it a lot in the coming few weeks, however long it takes to sort this out. Hopefully not too long, because he doesn't want this to drag on but also because he doesn't really think they have that much time. But that doesn't need voicing.
He rests his head back against Steve's shoulder, slipping a little lower under the water, even as Steve voices the prudent thought that they should move.] Yeah. That sounds nice. [Something he agrees with and yet it feels almost impossible to move just then. Still, the water is only getting cooler. So he enjoys this for a few moments more before acquiescing, allowing Steve to help rinse the rest of his hair out and then starts draining the tub.
Standing, he stretches just a little from the soles of his feet all the way up to his shoulders. There are just kinks and aches he's developed over the entire course of his life that he's well accepted by now are never coming out. But he does grin a little.] I'd get a towel but I'd hate to deny you your favorite part. [He's definitely learned by now. How much Steve seems to love wrapping him up. And he'd be a liar if he tried to deny that he likes it, too.]
no subject
Yes, on the one hand, that makes him quite sad that she's growing up before their eyes, but on the other hand, isn't that part of it? He also has enjoyed seeing how she's developed into a bright young girl, and start developing her own personality. But sometimes she acts so much like her dad that it breaks Steve's heart, like he's two minutes away from mistaking them once she's grown older and started getting into his band tees and into welding.
Steve will fight it all the way, but she idolizes Tony, so to Steve, that seems a little inevitable. ]
Can I interest you in a shoulder rub?
[ These are the types of things that Steve pays attention to, every time that they're here. But it's also part of the deal now. Tony has so many aches and pains and Steve likes to check off that they're doing the most to mitigate each and every one of them. ]
no subject
A little laugh escapes him, at the question, and even though he shakes his head he's definitely thinking about it.] I know we've joked about it a million times before but I might actually melt into a puddle of goo this time. [Which isn't a no because of course that sounds amazing. Steve's hands on him, any way he can get them, still is a notion Tony will always say yes to. There are feelings that he thinks haven't waned in the slightest, only grown brighter in intensity the longer they've been together. That's definitely one of them.]
But I'm thinking if I offer you one in return you'd say no. [Because Steve deserves to relax, too. God, he really does after everything. And Tony is almost desperate to find a way to make it happen. Anything that would help, after what he feels like is him putting his family through this, he wants to do.]
no subject
Alright, well, maybe you go first, and I'll go second.
[ Steve doesn't really need it, but he won't say no to Tony touching him in any regard, and he won't say no to Tony trying to spoil him good. He used to not want to have it reciprocated because he didn't see the point and he'd rather spend more of their time trying to work out Tony's many knots, but at some point he'd realized that it was like how Tony lets him get his towels for him and do his drying for him: it's just part of the charm.
And so, he dries himself off and gets dressed, drapes one of his shirts around Tony's shoulders both to keep him warm and because he looks so sweet wearing Steve's shirts.
He takes a seat on their bed, in their room, in their house which they'd built together, which reflected the both of them perfectly. The bed is so comfortable, handsome, well-made, sturdy. It's a joy to sleep in every night, and wake up in every morning. He looks over his shoulder and smiles over at Tony, beckoning him closer. ]
no subject
He doesn't see a point for him to get very dressed, since he's about to lie face down and let Steve work some wonders along his aching muscles. So he ends up drying off just a little more and then settling the towel around his waist. Although he does tug at the shirt suddenly over his shoulders, but doesn't slip his arms in.
Almost immediately, as if Steve has thrown a rope around him and pulled, he goes once they lock eyes. And maybe he shouldn't- okay definitely shouldn't, in a suddenly very full house of guests and Alice- but he settles over Steve, slotting into his lap as he kneels on the bed and then lowers to sit. He arms wrap lightly around Steve's neck and he's very deliberate, careful, slow as he kisses him. Not aiming to stir up trouble, for once in his life. It's something very sweet, maybe even just a touch needy. When they part he brushes his nose against Steve's.]
I'll be good in just a minute. [Promising with a quiet grin, kissing Steve again. Still with that same level of softness. He really is being good, he thinks. Just sometimes he can't really help himself.]
no subject
Many things have changed about Tony in the ensuing years after Thanos. Steve has become more gentle with Tony, has pulled back much more than he used to, though he's certain that frustrates Tony quite a lot. He knows it, but he doesn't want Tony to hurt. Certainly not for selfish reasons like Steve just can't help himself. But many other things have remained the same: Tony tastes the same, he kisses the same, and Steve wants him all the same as he ever did.
Tony informs him that he'll be good, and Steve will save it, he thinks, for when they come out of the other end of this. It just feels like with the regaining of all the population, they should have been able to celebrate sooner, but they really haven't. So when Tony's all healed up, they will. Whatever he wants: a vacation, some new suits, new beachfront property. Steve won't say no, and he won't have the heart to, he'll just be so happy to have Tony still.
But for right now, Tony's right. He claims another kiss first, before they both decide to be good. This time, he kisses a little bit harder, but reels back just before things can get too heated. ]
You might've gotten bumped down because of Alice, but you're still the second most beautiful thing I've ever had in my arms.
[ For a moment, Steve just holds him there, and lowers his head onto his heart, listens to that heartbeat that still hammers on defiantly. ]
no subject
When he's better. He keeps promising himself that. But when he's better, if he gets everything he wants out of this, they'll resume life. And it'll be good.
A thought that's backed further when Steve kisses him a little harder, something he can't help the soft noise over. Miss might be too light a word, but it'll have to do for now. He leaves one arm around Steve, his other hand going into Steve's hair when he leans on him. His chest rumbles as he laughs lightly.]
Still haven't lost your romantic touch. [Teasing him. His hand moves through Steve's hair in a light few passes.] But, fine. I'd have to agree with you. We both got bumped when she was born. [They're definitely the most dad two men could be. He's not sure how he settled into it. It's almost a miracle. Steve, he thinks, had always been destined for that. With such a huge heart and so much love to give. Tony had taken a little more time to find it all. At least that's how he'd tell it.]
no subject
It is a miracle, that they got here. Some days Steve thought Tony would never want children, and so he'd have to write them off as a possibility. And sometimes watching Tony with Alice, his heart fills up to bursting with affection for the two of them. They're perfect together, his two favorite people in the universe. He can't imagine a life without either, and he's so glad Tony came around. Because if he had to put his money on it, he'd say being a father is one of the best things Tony would say he's ever done.
And, because Tony doesn't seem like he actually wants to get off Steve's lap, he'll take off his shirt and guide Tony's hands to his delts. ]
Can't get too sappy, Tony, we've got guests who have to deal with us in the morning.
[ He'd absolutely make like it was their honeymoon and fawn over Tony all day long even in front of their guests, if it was something that would make him feel better. But, he thinks that's unlikely, and what's more likely is that they'll get a little rest and Steve will wake up extra early to cook and they'll try to save Tony's life all day until they do. ]
no subject
Working his fingers and palms into Steve's muscles as he rests down against him just a little more.]
I mean. It is our house. [Taking just a little mock-offense to the idea that he can't be with his husband as he pleases in their own home.] And anyone who doesn't know how we are by now might be willingly blind. [The two of them had always been obnoxious, Tony thinks, once they'd found their groove. Aside that, Tony never let other people's opinions define what he did, and even less so in how that presented in how he was with Steve.
He fans his hands along Steve's shoulder blades, digging in there just a little with a firm touch.] But they'll be in good company, at least. Alice has certainly gotten a lot more vocal about it lately. [As little kids tended to do when their parents had the audacity to smooch each other in front of them. He finds it funny, though. Which, of course, only makes him wanna do it more.]
no subject
And, all right, maybe when he's not paying too much attention he lets out a little groan that sounds maybe just a tad dirtier than he means it to be. His eyes flutter shut and he thinks he'd better get started on Tony's shoulder rub too, but he'll work through the muscles in his back first, up the sides of his obliques. ]
Well, Alice doesn't get a say because if we didn't fall in love, she wouldn't be here.
[ Of course he understands that all kids will think their parents kissing is gross, but it's also quite necessary. And all in all, she'll appreciate someday that her parents are so in love after all these years, and have such a healthy relationship when she's older. He hopes they'll show her what a supportive and good partnership looks like. ]
no subject
He can't help himself, either, arching just a little. Maybe made a little precarious due to his position, but he's sure he could lean all the way back into Steve's hands and Steve would still just hold him up. There's always been a deep level of trust there that has only grown more with time. Tony, at this point, puts every ounce of it in Steve and has even had his life saved by him.
Still. He can't seem to help his snort.] You try telling her that and I'm sure she'll have some snappy response to it. [Smart mouth, he thinks. Same as him. Some day he might really regret giving her that trait, or teaching it to her with the way they talk to each other sometimes. Right now it's cute and funny. It probably won't be when she's a teenager.
There's a knot that Steve catches with his hands after that that has Tony going a little boneless atop him with a punch of air out, just a quarter tinged with that good sort of pain, clutching to him. And it's just short of begging, breath drawn as he makes the request,] Get that one out, would you? [He doesn't want Steve to stop.]
no subject
And so, he knows that knot is there, he can feel that stiffness in his muscle, and he works towards getting it out, making sure his muscles feel pliant again. He knows that with Tony's line of work he tends to get a lot of them, and with all the stress lately, he surely has tons more for Steve to work out. ]
I can't be out-sassed by a five-year-old, Tony. I just can't.
[ But he says this affectionately, because he most certainly will be. She's just as quick as her dad is, too, so that sort of gives her the edge. ]
You'll have to have my back on that one.
[ Because Steve knows he's sort of old-fashioned and he knows he's going to fight with Alice about that when she's older, but Tony will need to mediate, since he's the cool, hip dad. ]
no subject
Always. Can't have her thinking she can talk back to us like that or we'll just end up with another me. [Well aware of who he is and all his faults at this stage of his life. He's tempered, these days, but he still runs his mouth when the opportunity arises.] If we're lucky she'll pick up all your sweetness and it'll balance her out.
[She'll be a good kid no matter what, this he has no doubts of. But. ...he already knows they're in for one hell of a ride when she starts hitting double digits. Steve's influence or not. He hangs on to Steve in a little tremble, another breath escaping him in a hiss as Steve finally gets the one that had been bothering him the most out. He really does go a little weak atop him then, arms just hanging over Steve's shoulders.] Mn, thank you... [Quiet but genuine praise as more tension just bleeds out of him.]
no subject
You can be sweet too, sometimes. Always with me.
[ So it's a good chance that Alice winds up skewing towards Steve's level of open generosity. But once she hits those teen years, he also knows that she'll doubtless wind up with lots of things said that she might not mean, or may not be able to communicate properly. He thinks not having someone on that front had made Tony a little bitter into his adulthood, and he doesn't want that for Alice.
Steve keeps working at it until he can feel Tony slump just a little over him. He isn't expecting a thanks, but he'll take it. He pauses then for a moment, just to hold Tony. ]
Don't mention it, sweetheart.
Swap? You do my back, I'll do your shoulders?
no subject
He settles a little more in Steve's lap, thighs squeezing against the side of Steve's. His arms drop, going beneath Steve's instead, pressing himself almost completely to him. Chest to chest as he works his palms along Steve's back.] How's this? [It's probably not the most conducive way for either of them to be giving the other one a massage but... it's them. So he's not really surprised it's ended up this way.
But he's at least a little honest, when his head drops to Steve's shoulder, and he admits,] Just a little hard to focus, when your hands are on me like that. [Never mind that it feels good. It's just always that way. His attention stolen away by allowing himself to feel every little way Steve's palms and fingers draw against his skin.]
no subject
It's great. I love it when you touch me like this.
[ He leans into Tony and finds himself intoxicated by the scent of his skin and his radiant heat, tries so hard not to kiss his neck and get them both in a load of trouble. No, he'd promised he'd be good. Even Tony had promised he'd be good.
He starts work on Tony's shoulders, and focuses in on that, but it's hard to do so because he's distractingly attractive and the way he's touching Steve is doing everything for him. ]
But I'm gonna need you to slow down, honey.
[ For very obvious reasons. ]
no subject
He smiles into Steve's shoulder, feeling that slight slice of heat. Maybe he should have put clothes on, instead of straddling Steve in just a towel. There hadn't been the kind of intent behind it initially that there might be now.
And he shouldn't torture the both of them yet it just comes out of him anyway.]
Slow? [It's a delicate little purr, head tilted on Steve's shoulder, resting at the crook of his neck then, breath coming in short, warm draws against his skin. He uses just the tip of his fingers to touch gently down the length of Steve's spine.] I can go as slow as you need... [Tony promised he'd be good. He probably still will be. Maybe. He just can't help himself. For the exact same reason Steve's trying to pump the brakes.]
no subject
Tony, you didn't even put clothes on.
[ He holds onto Tony tightly, lays kisses underneath his jaw. They're not meant to go anywhere, but he still feels like they just might with the two of them like this. ]
You don't play fair.
[ He should stop. They have guests. Alice might awaken from a nightmare and come waddling in right this minute. Thankfully, FRIDAY's on Alice watch so they'll have ample opportunity for Tony to get under covers, but how are they supposed to face her when both of them are flushed and aroused?
He places a hand on Tony's chest and creates a tiny bit of distance. ]
no subject
Guilty. [He'll at least never deny what a menace he can be. Something that's only dimmed slightly due to the fact that they can't do whatever they want whenever they want. But that doesn't really stop him.
Which is why he's not surprised that Steve tries to even the both of them out. A huff that's somehow disappointed and amused all the same escapes him. He needs to respect the law here. To not try and coax more when he knows they can't have it right now. So he takes a deep breath to steady himself out and then brings his hands forward again.
He captures the side of Steve's face, tilting him into a very dutifully careful and sweet kiss. There's only a slight edge of heat but he really can't help that. Then when he breaks back, he promises,] When we're done. When I'm better. We'll let Alice have a sleepover at Morgan's. Full weekend. And then you and I are gonna revisit what it was like in Indonesia at the villa. [Tony will let Steve fuck the living daylights out of him on every piece of furniture they own, and he'll give it back tenfold, because don't they deserve that at this point? He presses his smile to Steve's lips but then backs off.]
Until then. I'll behave. But I want you to know how difficult that is. [Like he deserves a medal.]
no subject
Good, the girls will love that. And so will we.
[ He's working on Tony's arm now, because it sees a lot of damage and Tony's always making upgrades to the other one. Steve might as well fuss with the one he's still got that's flesh. He does like the metal one, but he feels like if anyone's going to work out its kinks, it'll be in code, not brute force. ]
God Tony, I don't think you understand how much I want you. It's like everything you do just sets me off.
[ But it's a good goal to work to. Once Tony gets better, then they'll have a whole weekend to themselves to give Tony's new body an endurance test run. Steve will try to be good, but they do have to break it in. ]
We could get the full experience, rent something out.
[ But staying at home near all the medical supplies and technology is also good, if they run into an emergency. ]
no subject
He's careful with his other hand, as he often has to be, touching along Steve's shoulder and towards the side of his neck. His smile is very telling as he watches him.]
Might be able to claim some innocence, then. If everything I do winds you up. [His hand slips up, touching along the side of Steve's face before metal fingers disappear into the length of his hair. He rests his forehead against Steve's then, eyes going half-lidded. And then in a smaller murmur he says,] I know. I want you pretty much every hour of every day, too. [And that's really never stopped being the case. Steve could sometimes just look at him from across a room and Tony would feel not only a flutter in his heart but just a heat. And it's been that way for so long that he can't imagine living life any other way.]
A cabin, maybe. Somewhere. We'll try not to break anything. [Which is never a guarantee with them, with how they get sometimes. He exhales soft and slow.] Why are your hands so good? [ An empty question while his mind is starting to become addled.] You really could've been the world's best masseuse, I think. Definitely lucky I'm the only one who knows that. [Luckier than lucky, at this point in his life.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)