[There is this clawing need to say something. To fill that silence. He doesn't like to stew. Doesn't like being so out of control and one of the best ways he knows to feel like gaining it back is being hyper-verbal, as Natasha so lovingly had called it once upon a time.
But he doesn't know what to say. Anything that came out of him would be hollow and maybe even misplaced. Really the worst thing is he wants to comfort Steve but he doesn't know how. He'll just have to get through to the other side of this and let a well-placed cheeky I told you so be the trophy. The end goal. The only way to comfort Steve is to keep living.
Worse than that, though, the bottomless need to keep active comes from the way he feels himself drifting. The tiredness he'd been ignoring and putting off settling into his bones. It's a deep ache that he can't get away from. He's glad to be out of the discomfort of the Uber and onto the jet, if only because at least there the two of them are safe to just be.
There's a warmth in Steve's presence, as he's drawn in, no resistance in him whatsoever.] I love you. [Still even after all these years soothed by their almost ritualistic call and response.] If you're not careful I'll fall asleep on you. [Then there it comes, words without a filter, not thought out very carefully. Because once he hears himself say it he regrets it. Almost like admitting yes he is that tired. Even with the recent injection of caffeine. As if it wasn't already obvious. He tries to save it.]
Coffee maker's gonna get a real workout. Almost like breaking it out of retirement. [He hasn't drank as much, in these years where things were mostly quiet. Hasn't needed to. Had settled exceptionally well when he was just tending to his family, growing with them and loving them and not worried about looming threats and a thousand projects to work on. He still tinkered and worked, mind not allowing him to ever really rest, but he certainly couldn't be said to be as active as he had when he'd been truly tumbling through his more manic states. He'd remembered what he used to be like, with the time travel equation opening up to him and then the subsequent mission immediately afterwards. He imagines this will be exactly like that.] You think anything we have around will be good enough for Shuri? [Only the warmest of teases.]
no subject
But he doesn't know what to say. Anything that came out of him would be hollow and maybe even misplaced. Really the worst thing is he wants to comfort Steve but he doesn't know how. He'll just have to get through to the other side of this and let a well-placed cheeky I told you so be the trophy. The end goal. The only way to comfort Steve is to keep living.
Worse than that, though, the bottomless need to keep active comes from the way he feels himself drifting. The tiredness he'd been ignoring and putting off settling into his bones. It's a deep ache that he can't get away from. He's glad to be out of the discomfort of the Uber and onto the jet, if only because at least there the two of them are safe to just be.
There's a warmth in Steve's presence, as he's drawn in, no resistance in him whatsoever.] I love you. [Still even after all these years soothed by their almost ritualistic call and response.] If you're not careful I'll fall asleep on you. [Then there it comes, words without a filter, not thought out very carefully. Because once he hears himself say it he regrets it. Almost like admitting yes he is that tired. Even with the recent injection of caffeine. As if it wasn't already obvious. He tries to save it.]
Coffee maker's gonna get a real workout. Almost like breaking it out of retirement. [He hasn't drank as much, in these years where things were mostly quiet. Hasn't needed to. Had settled exceptionally well when he was just tending to his family, growing with them and loving them and not worried about looming threats and a thousand projects to work on. He still tinkered and worked, mind not allowing him to ever really rest, but he certainly couldn't be said to be as active as he had when he'd been truly tumbling through his more manic states. He'd remembered what he used to be like, with the time travel equation opening up to him and then the subsequent mission immediately afterwards. He imagines this will be exactly like that.] You think anything we have around will be good enough for Shuri? [Only the warmest of teases.]